How Our Body and Mind Reflects the Confidence We Have

This post couldn’t come at a more perfect time. With all of the thoughts going through my mind over the recent couple of months, it’s time to reflect once again. And this time it’s on confidence.

I am happy to say that I am finally happy with how my blog is. I was having all kinds of thoughts about how I wanted it to look different. But as it stands, I’m going to stick with it as it now. The much more important part is the content. I thought I was losing my love for writing but it turns out I was being side-tracked. Focusing on something which wasn’t as important – making everything look perfect.

Perfection doesn’t lead to confidence

There’s never a day where I think I look perfect, never mind the appearance of my blog. There are some days where I’ll feel good about myself but I’ll always find a flaw. People will compliment and I’ll still find that flaw. Over the past couple of special occasions I’ve felt quite fed up. Feeling like my blog wasn’t going anywhere anymore was part of this. Though, it hasn’t been the biggest factor. Now that I’ve seen giving it all up would be stupid it’s time to look at myself.

It’s funny really. People hear that I blog. They don’t know what it is. And sometimes I have to tell them to explore my blog in order to see what it’s all about. That’s because I’m happy to say that I don’t have a niche. It covers bits of everything – many different aspects of lifestyle experiences. And includes the odd sponsored post with brands here and there.

It’s time to change my outlook

Within these past couple of weeks I’ve noticed that one thing has changed my outlook on things. And that all begins with comparison. The worst thing you can ever do to yourself, comparing yourself to others.

I don’t always have the clearest skin; my belly is often bloated and feels horrible even when others don’t see it; I don’t like to show my ‘prettiest’ look every day. That’s okay. I actually cried last week. I know, I’m silly. But it can put you down once one thing gets to you and you let others follow.

Just because one dress doesn’t zip up doesn’t mean another won’t. Yes – I had a meltdown over clothes not fitting, looking like I’d put on weight (because I probably have put on a few pounds). Well, I’ve not done too bad in over the last couple of years or so considering how much I love food!

Things won’t always go to plan, or meet expectations. But you can try a different way and exceed those expectations.

I might put off exercise here and there. But I’ve been looking at myself in the mirror so many times and not liking what I see. I know that if you want something you should work for it. But sometimes, you feel so unmotivated that sense of I can do this disappears.

An eye opener in confidence

I’ve opened my eyes and know that I’m not always going to like something but it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t love myself. It hasn’t helped when you’ve seen someone look at the part of you that you dislike. But eventually you will be able to hold your head up and ignore it. That’s the only way you can carry on being you. And most of all, being a happy you.

I’ve spent more days going out of the house with less or no make-up on at all. At first you can worry about the looks because you feel like you don’t have that fresh-faced look going for you. Especially when it makes you look just as young. Then you think, to hell with that. It’s me. That’s who I am.

Even though I feel like I’m seen by more people on those kind of occasions, I just need to think, there are plenty of people who find the confidence, and so can I. Past experiences have made me switch to a less confident me at times. It’s all about passing those obstacles. They’ll be back and I just have to be strong and fight harder.

It’s good to have my confidence back

When you get that boost in your mood back, you’ll feel motivated by many things. Take today for instance, I put some music on and got my head down to get this piece together. It worked. Finally! I’ve got my confidence back.

I can breathe again without having those bundle of thoughts in the back of my mind. Or at least less of them. That’s much better than an overload of worry which often leads to headache and shakiness. I get enough of those two as it is. My migraine medication might reduce the frequency but I have to work with them too.

Isn’t it about time that you found that confidence in yourself again? If I can do it, you definitely can.

The Difference Between Feeling Worried and Wanted

This post talks about both feeling worried and wanted. Being a worrier, having someone love me for all of my flaws gives me a feeling that no one else on this earth can replace. Feeling wanted by the right person makes you feel amazing.

Have you ever had that feeling where you couldn’t have done something without someone? Danny always tells me that he wouldn’t have graduated without me. Truth is, he certainly would have. But I will always help Danny.

He’s always at the other end of the phone for me. Danny will run to me if there’s an emergency or even if he knows I just need him. He puts everything into making me happy. This is why I can understand all the times he gets upset whenever I’m unhappy.

I probably give my head an overtime of worrying. It worries too many what ifs. Danny is someone who has seen each and every thought that goes on in my mind. He hears them without me even having to say a word. I never knew that opening up to someone could take away so much pain.

I remember the smile Danny used to give me. Then I smile at a nice little moment we shared. I don’t want anybody else. He reminds me and mum so much of my grandad – a man with a big heart. Perhaps that’s why I’ve grown a lot stronger since I’ve been part of it?

He wanted me then

I was always terrified of being the girl he told all of his friends about, and falling in love. But he’s shown me that I’ve always been the person he fell in love with. That day he told me I looked good when I was 16-years-old, maybe that was a sign.

I turn 23-years-old this year and it still makes me smile whenever Danny tells me I look beautiful. Especially when I’m feeling incapable of loving myself or my skin looks horrendous. I could gain spots or pounds and I am sure that he will still love me the same. In fact, he must do, because he has seen me at my best and worst, physically and emotionally.

It’s never mattered to him what part of the group I’m in, how many friends I’ve got or that I don’t glam up every day.

I was terrified of being the girl for Danny when deep down, I could be the biggest friend he’ll ever gain. I will always want to hug him, kiss him, make him laugh, and be there for him.

And he still wants me now

It’s important to love yourself. You gain a special feeling when someone devours you. But remember the first step is to accept yourself and to see some kind of beautiful in yourself.

The Reasons Why You Should Always Be Yourself

I’d like to share the reasons why you should be yourself in this post. You can go through life having a worrying overhaul of thoughts. I have feared multiple of things from the thought of drowning under the waves in the sea, to doing something wrong in the workplace. But the biggest thing I fear is not being the best I can be for someone. You can learn that when you embrace yourself you become the real you.

Taking Propranolol – Nightmares and Feeling Cold

Propranolol has many side effects and I think several of them apply to me. Google refers to a nightmare as a frightening or unpleasant dream. Dreams are supposed to be happy and full of colourful memories. Nightmares are the complete opposite.

Propranolol medication

Whether it’s my mind full of anxiety or the propranolol medication I am on I do not know. But I wish they would stop. There are gaps when I think, “Ah my dreams are on a roll recently!” Things that make me smile happen such as, holidays, times with family and friends, seeing granny and grandad in my sleep.

But that doesn’t seem to be for much longer. The dreams of granny and granny can continue onto other nights and become extremely upsetting where I’ll see them, run up to them, and they disappear. Or even worse, I see them actually dying. In a way, I can see a positive perspective as I never got to say a real goodbye. Perhaps, they’re there to let me have that chance. Although it can be quite unsettling.

On other occasions, I will have nightmares about my brother – something bad happening to his health or people being after him. And it’s mostly about the same brother of mine. Then on other (and most) occasions I’m being chased. Why do people want me? Why do some of them want to kill me? What are these vivid nightmares?

I just want to sleep

I have a dream catcher, I have teddies in my room, and I have my boyfriend, but unfortunately they still don’t always seem to go away.

I’ve been an anxious person in certain situations but I can happily say that I think I have a lot more control of it all now. I think my volunteering roles and current job helps as it heavily involves communicating with other people and seeing that we all start somewhere. We all make mistakes and learn from these.

For some of the many reasons that people take propranolol, my body decides to cause them for me. What a nightmare – no jokes here to the actual subject – as Google secondly refers to a nightmare as a, very unpleasant or frightening experience or prospect.

I feel cold a lot, especially my hands and feet. I tend to feel more anxious than I should in certain situations. I can get very painful pins and needles all the way through my body, even when I’m not having a migraine they can be there and the beta-blockers are fighting against one trying to approach.

That pins and needs feeling

My muscles can become weak, which has caused me to drop things before now or just feel like I’m about to flop to the ground. Also, I usually see small flashes or spots of different colours.

I’ve read some forums online about other people who take propranolol to see if it possibly the reason or if I have the fact that it’s just my weird and wonderful (sometimes terrifying mind).

In actual fact, there are many others who have had similar types of dreams to myself. Propranolol can be used for hypertension, angina, arrhythmias, the heart, anxiety, thyroid problems, and to prevent migraines. The frequency of my migraines has definitely lowered since six years ago. But now the pattern of them is pretty much the same. There are things which happen which surround the migraine without actually having the headache.

Like I’ve said before, “A migraine is not just a headache.”

I can become quite a frustrated person and I’m the type who’ll worry which doesn’t help. Subsequently, it does teach me that I need to relax and take things from wherever there are at the time…

We’ll see how that one goes. Do you take propranolol for any health reasons?

Why Small Gestures Really Do Help

Small gestures help me to get through a lot of things. I’ve been worrying again. Mostly about the little things in the future.

The thoughts

Sometimes, I’ve feel like the less important person – the outcast. There have been times where I’ve been proven wrong. And if it wasn’t for my mum, a couple of moments ago, I probably wouldn’t have opened my perspective on this occasion.

I went downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink and she said to me,

“You look like you’ve been crying or you’re just really tired. You’ve got bags under your eyes.”

She keeps saying this to me recently and although I was upset the other day without anyone knowing, I hadn’t been crying today. I took a deep breath and stepped outside. It’s amazing what a bit of fresh air can do.

When I was in the kitchen, mum assured me that I shouldn’t be worrying about anything. And that no matter how it seems, she isn’t annoyed with me. She turned to me and said I might not say it often enough but…

It’s me and you together, forever.

A small gesture goes a long way

This is the most heartfelt experience of today. A small token of love which carries a lot of significance.

It just goes to show you how far a little communication from the person who you need the most in that moment, can help a great deal.

My mum will tell me she loves me all the time. She’ll give me hugs and kisses. She’ll tell me how proud she is of me and she’ll sometimes talk a little too much giving me a lot of compliments at once. But I know that with each and every action, she wishes she still had her mum doing and saying the same things to her.

That’s what I’m here for though. I always want my mum to feel loved.

Hugs can be so comforting

No matter how old I am, I’ll always love giving my mum a big cuddle. A mum should never feel like second best because they are the first person you spend a relationship with before you’re born.

We might be a pain in each other’s bum but we know how much we love each other. I might get frustrated at times but that’s my mum and you’re not allowed to be disrespectful or nasty to her.

My mum knows how it feels to have your heart ripped out. She’s lost her daughter, mother, and father amongst other family members. She’s so strong.

As much as some people believe that time heals – I don’t think it always heals. Though I do believe with a lot of love from your friends and family, you can begin to live again.

So at the moments where I feel the weakest, I try to think about the toughest situations that my loved ones have got through. I realise that their hurt or struggle was much more than mine. There’s always an opportunity to recover your own happiness that you deserve.

Childhood memories on the park

But my dad has taken me to so many parks because I’ve always loved the swings. He has shown me the practical side of life, and as traditional as parents can be in some way or another, he has shown me what it’s like to have experienced life growing up when he did. He hasn’t said it directly in words, but I’ve gathered my own thoughts about it.

Similarly, I’ve happy to have my mum in my life as the woman who I am closest to. She had her stomach cut open for me to be able to enter this world amongst lots of other kind of pain.

You should never take your mum and dad for granted. Whoever you see as a mum and dad to you, whether it’s your biological parents, or someone who has looked after you like no one else has, show them how much you love them today.

Even if they have frustrated you on a few occasions, remember what they see in you. And you will begin to realise that sometimes you don’t need to worry at all.