young man walking over the bridge

You Shouldn’t Hold Your Feelings Inside

Why do so many of us hold our feelings inside? A lot of people think we feel with our hearts and think with our minds which is true for the most part. But what about when you let your mind control how you feel? We are so quick to judge someone before we know what they are going through – perhaps they don’t ever tell you. Is this why we can refuse to open up about our own feelings?

I think we need a world with more empathy. People should be able to speak up about what they’re experiencing with the thought of them not having it has hard as somebody else. We all suffer in some kind of way at least once in our life whether it be grief, relationships, battling your own mind just to name a few.

So why shouldn’t you hold your feelings inside?

When you think about how of us are on the planet, don’t you think it’s shame we live in a world where people can’t open up, to share experiences, understand each other, and most of all to try and help each other or be there for one another?

When I cry, there’s only a handful of people that know what to do. Most expect me to be smiley all the time because I don’t overly share what’s going on, only when it gets tough. And for me that’s works. For others too, privacy is important and only letting people in when they let you in, works fair in my eyes. But it’s so important that when someone is there for you 1000% not to shut them out. Especially when they’re always making an effort with you. Otherwise you’ll only end up pushing them away and loneliness is the last thing you want.

No matter how perfect you might think someone’s got it, the likeliness is that, they will continue to be there for you. They might have or might not have experienced the same thing. But it doesn’t mean they can’t listen. If something is dragging you down more than it ever has before or more than it should, speak to someone. Whoever that person might be – your friend, parent, grandparent, work colleague, doctor, counsellor – talk to them.

You’ll be surprised how often people underestimate the power of a small chat. It’s not supposed to ‘fix’ things magically but it helps. If gives you a sense of acceptance and gives you an insight that you never seen before to deal with the pain you’re feeling.

You, me, the queen, celebrities, all of us, are human.

Listening to someone is one of the kindest things you can do. And for people on the other side, don’t sit there and think, “They don’t want to or won’t listen to this.” There are people in the world with a heart you know. When they realise that you’ve been battling your own thoughts so much is something that would probably hurt them too.

The reality is some days/weeks/months/years will be tougher than others. When you lose someone close to you, the healing process isn’t something that can be measured for each person. We’re all different and cope in our own ways. Memories are so precious. Always hold onto them.

The other day I visited my granny and grandad at the cemetery and I cried for the first time in years. Getting older can make you stronger, it doesn’t mean to say that because you cry you’re weak. Others might ask themselves why I cried when it’s been over 17 years for one of them. That’s because your heart never lets go of love. I wouldn’t just shut off my feelings towards them because they’re not here, it’s not how life works. I like to know that I can talk about them any time I want with my boyfriend and talk about memories with mum, dad and my brothers.

There will be times when everything will get on top of each other

When a certain amount of time passes by you’ve started to learn how to deal with a situation… then life happens. Since my uncle passed away this year I’ve realised that losing another family member doesn’t make it easier. You still grieve. You’ll cry when you don’t want to. But you soon realise that it’s okay and that you shouldn’t apologise when these things happen in front of people. If we held those feelings inside we would have an outburst one day and it’s a whole lot healthier to let your tears out.

If you’re someone who is going through some stuff right now that doesn’t seem ‘serious enough’ to talk about, if it’s getting you down then it’s important. Don’t think you’re going to be a burden to someone. Open up to someone and you might just see a new perspective.

girl looking out to the sea during sunset

The Idea of Perfection

Perfection doesn’t exist? Of course it does – we live in a world where there’s crisps, chocolate fudge cake and pizza! That sounds pretty perfect to me. But now, to more serious talk, the idea of perfection in ourselves.

Some of us are happy with the bodies we are in, some aren’t.

Many of us feel the need to wear makeup to cover up, to wear certain clothes to hide our imperfections etc. I’ll admit that I’m guilty of this. Spots, dry skin, bad hair day – you name it. But when anyone else experiences either of those things I honestly think they look fine.

In the gym, do I see sweaty red-faced girls? Nope, unless you rephrase that to girl (myself). I see girls who look amazing considering they’ve just completed a fitness workout. Then there’s that girl over there (me) who’s dying for a bottle of water and to get home quick before someone sees me looking the way I do. Stupid, right? But it’s true.

I have come to the terms with the fact that no matter how perfect you might think someone looks, they don’t live for their ‘perfect appearance’ as much as it might be perceived on the outside. They’re just doing their thing. For some it’s lots of makeup, for others its au natural.

Let’s take work as another example. I wear bare to little makeup – lucky if I put mascara on now and again. I used to love wearing eyeshadow and mascara. But now, when I wear it occasionally, it makes me feel more towards some kind of beautiful. And it makes me feel good about myself.

Don’t let the bullies who called you ugly in high school make you think you’re ugly. Don’t allow the girls who told you that you hadn’t had enough boyfriends make you feel unattractive. Most of all, stop seeking for a more ‘perfect’ you.  There’s this idea that someone is ‘prettier’ than another. Embrace your beauty; don’t spend time trying to mimic someone else. I’ve already spoke about how social media affects how you feel and look.

Personality reveals all

There’s no one better than the person who you are deep inside. Personalities have so much power but the first thing you probably judge from someone is how they look. You haven’t had a conversation with them so appearance is the first thing you see.

A quick chat can reveal so much. The ‘prettiest person in the room’ could be feeling the lowest and steer away from conversation. Yet, the person who you haven’t paid much attention to could be one of the sweetest and bubbliest people you will ever meet. I like the quote “don’t judge a book by its cover”. I can’t reiterate enough how there’s always more to a person that what meets the eye. Yet people are so quick to judge.

Regardless of what someone looks like or if they seem more powerful, whether it be achievements, possessions etc. be kind. Everybody’s idea of perfection is different. And attributes of happiness vary from one person to another.

I have days where I feel so low about myself. Someone can take a look at me and not understand what reason I have to be down. They see a smiley person that’s always so positive. I see a girl who just wants to look and be better. But to be honest, in more recent months that feeling is starting to fade (I think and hope). I’m learning to embrace every single piece of me that makes me who I am, flaws and all.

You and I are here to be happy, not to be perfect.

finger pressing location on instagram story

Why These 3 Social Media Platforms Can Be So Toxic

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Social media. It can be a love/hate relationship. I work as a marketing coordinator and content writer so I thoroughly understand the importance of social media marketing. However, there’s a side of it which can be so damaging for its active users.

Back in the day all I remember is my brother having a MySpace account and one of my friends trying to set me up a profile on Bebo. And then there was Piczo! Oh no. I’d definitely cringe if there was ever any access to that site again. Today’s generation are growing up to be surrounded by social media and it’s actually quite frightening. And that’s what I discuss in this post – the negatives and the effects it can have on you.

Facebook

Me and my friends created a Facebook account in high school. Although I probably wish I was introduced to it much later. Especially as the other day I was going through my ‘friends’ list and wondering why they’re actually my friends. Do I really know them? Do I have a need for them to see what I’m posting/sharing? And more importantly, would I let onto this person as we’re passing by in the street? The answer to quite a lot of them was no. But years ago you think it’s ‘cool’ to have everyone on there.

Facebook is a social media platform that people love to share their news on e.g. pregnancy, proposals, weddings, moving house etc. But take a moment to think about where you’d post it if there was no Facebook or no social media at all? I like to think that precious moments in life should be kept private. And I also think that vendettas, your life story (unless you want to blog about it of course!) etc. should be kept to yourself. But everyone’s different.

I actually hate some of my old photos/posts on Facebook. That’s why I’ve deleted an awful lot. In fact, even recent ones too. But that’s okay because the best memories are in my mind. And the photos are printed or saved to my laptop. Facebook can lead you to compare yourself to others, just like any social media platform. But it’s also a place where you can share funny memes/videos. So you know, you’re kind of winning!

Twitter

Without my blog I definitely wouldn’t have joined Twitter. for the life of me I just couldn’t understand what the hype was. But it’s now my favourite social media platform ever. That being said, there are still negatives, just like there are with others. There’s the pressure to look like a ‘star’. You look at the amount of followers, likes, retweets etc. that others get. And sometimes you wonder why your similar tweet didn’t become so famous like someone else’s did.

Instead, for the most part, I choose to enjoy Twitter. There is a lot of competition on there. And people can say anything they like a lot of the time. However, it’s a great platform for gaining engagement for your blog or your business, whatever that might be.

One more negative I can think of though relates to the lives of celebrities. When you see people posting awful things about them. Some people need to remember that they’re human beings not just celebrities. Likewise with non-celebrities, we need to remember that everyone has a story, different things they’ve been through, a life more/less luxurious than others.

Instagram

Between Instagram and Facebook, I actually don’t know which one I’ve thought about deleting the most. You come to a point where you think, what’s the point? I share photos on Instagram then delete them. I start to find all my flaws in them. Maybe that’s my insecurities. I don’t know. But I do know that the idea of ‘perfection’ is huge on Instagram. Us girls see the most beautiful women – whether the photos are edited or not. You think from time to time, “I want to look like that.”

Then you remember that there’s nothing better to be than yourself. But there still seems to be those people you might check up on and I think “They look so amazing and look at me.” Or you find yourself scrolling through photos of someone who’s been a threat to you, or someone you’d rather not see. You don’t think you’re ‘pretty’ enough.

And then I remember that social media isn’t all bad…

The truth is, across all of these platforms, my blog is able to grow. And we can share empowering and motivating posts/tweets. There will always be people who gain way more followers, likes, views etc. but we weren’t put on earth to for that. We’re here to live our lives and be happy. I do want to say that, it’s amazing when the blogging community is so supportive. It gives you something to thrive for. But it’s also okay to take a rest from it all now and again.

So, social media or no social media in your life, never forget the importance of being happy. There’s already enough pressure in the world e.g. to have achieved things by a certain age, to look different, or to look like everything’s perfect. But please just be you. That’s when you’ll find your version of ‘perfect’.

pink umbrella

Why I’m Much Better at Letting Things Go Than I Used to Be

Letting things go – it sounds easier said than done, right? Well that’s what I always thought too. Until the last few months this changed. I always used to tell myself not to stress about the unnecessary. But wow, I didn’t listen to my own thoughts on those occasions. If I couldn’t do something – stress. Something unexpectedly happens and the fear of the unknown scares you – stress. Worrying about other people – stress. 

We all know stress isn’t good for us. But we seem to anyway. Take today for example. It’s Tuesday. Eugh, I just seem to really dislike Tuesdays. It’s not as if it’s a day where people annoy me. But it’s the little things. I learnt that sometimes, I just need to relax and just think, “Ah whatever!”

I woke up and got straight in the shower. Afterwards I spent half an hour trying to find something to wear in this hot weather and suitable for work. What a nightmare. I ended up wearing black trousers. But I couldn’t spend all morning stressing over that.

That’s nothing, right?

So then something else decided to get to me. The First bus app wasn’t working. Something to do with cellular connection I think, who knows?

So I walked back on myself past my house and to the cash machine. Well, the cash machine wasn’t giving me my money. I stayed patient as I noticed that I missed a bus into town. Eventually it withdrawn the cash and I had to pay for a weekly on the bus. I’m pretty gutted because it’s going to cost me more money now over the month period.

Now obviously I wasn’t the happiest bunny this morning. But I could’ve handled it a lot worse. I just ranted to in a few text messages. I didn’t take my frustration out on anybody in person… not even the people who shoved in front of me on the bus just because they felt like they could. I might have shook my head though. That’s my way of letting things go!

And it’s still ‘nothing’ because it could always be worse

That’s just a small example. But even after the ‘worst days ever’ I tell myself it isn’t actually the worst. I’ve chose to let go of the never-ending thoughts that can remain in my mind.

Telling myself that whatever happens, happens has worked for once. Perhaps I used to crave attention from the wrong people. Or was trying to be some sort of perfection. Or even someone who never wanted anything to go wrong. Well, there will always be people who come in and out of your life. Nothing’s ever perfect. And things won’t always go as you expect them to. The sooner you realise that, you’ll breeze through your journey of letting things go. 

I feel as though I’m in much more control

Knowing what/who you want to be in your life really helps. In fact, it plays a huge part. You start to realise what matters, who matters, and those who brought nothing but constant annoyance. Or even, the way you felt like you couldn’t be the best version of yourself because you felt like you had to be something else. It’s funny isn’t it? Simple and small changes can have such a positive impact on your happiness. 

The amount of days, weeks, months or years we have in our future is unknown. That’s why it’s so important to learn to let go of things. You can’t always force things to happen in your life. But remember, you can control how to react to them. And you can make a difference in your own life as well as others’. You’ll feel so much positive energy when you just live, accept things, and be whoever the hell you want to be.

Why don’t you try?

I feel much more confident and believe in myself much more. There were days when I was quite minimal with makeups and effort with my hair. But now there are days where I go makeup free. And I’m not wondering what people think. It makes me feel even better when I do it e.g. on a night out when you dress up and feel nice and girly. Here’s to the rest of the girls out there who have this vision.

5 Sensory Toys for Your Children to Use in the Sunshine

Thursday 21st June marked the beginning of summer time in the UK. With that in mind I wanted to share some popular sensory toys for children this summer. It’s understandable how important sensory play is for children, especially those with disabilities and additional needs such as autism.

Duck pond

The duck pond by The Entertainer is only £5. It’s suitable for 2 children to play with from 3-years-old. The product comes with an inflatable pond, 2 large ducks, 2 small ducks, a fishing rod, and a timer. The aim is to hook as many ducks as you can while the timer is running.

Galt 6 finger paints

Available on Learning Space’s website, you can purchase this product for £5.99 (plus £4 delivery). This product helps children to develop their motor skills as they learn different colours and textures. Each pot of paint is 100ml which gives you child the chance to print their hands several times.

Kid Active Pop-Up Play Tent

This colourful pop-up tent is available to order with Smyths Toy Store. The great thing about this product is that it doesn’t need any poles. It folds away so it’s easy to store. And it’s ideal for children to want to take mini adventures in the garden.

Tobar Magic Sand

There’s something about sand that reminds me of the sand play in nursery. This underwater sand modelling kit includes a water tub, coloured sand, a funnel, sculpting tools, and plastic sea creatures. This is guaranteed to make sure your child has fun in the sun!

Did you know that Redbank House have 2 fabulous sensory rooms in Manchester?

What sensory toys will you be purchasing for your children during summer?

5 Ways to Wind Down and Relax

Some weeks can be so hectic that you don’t really feel like you get any ‘me time’ to relax. As someone with hypertension, which is now controlled, I’ve seen and felt what a toll stressful situations can have on your body. Inside and out. But I’ve also learn that you have a choice on how you react to all of life’s scenarios, just as I’ve said before.

For us girls and maybe you guys too, it’s nice to come home, stick our joggers or pyjamas on and enter a complete chill out zone. Obviously, things can get in the way but when this happens it’s just bliss. Below are some ways to relax that could help you.

Take a bath or shower

Baths tend to be more relaxing than showers for some. However, other people need something more refreshing like a shower. Whichever one works for you, take an extra 5-10 minutes than you usually would. I definitely enjoy longer baths and showers when there’s the extra time to spend. Use your favourite soap, bubble bath, shower cream, bath bomb etc.

Listen to music

You’ll know what type of music helps you to relax. But if not there are some good playlists on Spotify such as Mellow Pop, several choices from the ‘Chill’ category, and Acoustic Covers. I don’t know why but there’s something much more soothing when listening to music through earphones/headphones. It’s as if the music is closer to your ears and it makes you stop and take everything in.

Put your feet up

I’m not really a put your feet up and drink a glass of wine kind of person. But I do enjoy putting my feet up and having a cup of tea (the inner granny in me). I steered away from tea for a few months due to monitoring my health but it made no difference so yay! Whether it’s in your living room by the tv or in bed, grab your favourite quilt/blanket and get as cosy as you can.

Go for a walk

I always think to myself when I’m on holiday, how amazing it would be to live near a beach. Listening to the sea waves and breeze does nothing but relax me (when it’s calm that is). It always makes me happy when I see people walking their dogs. I actually smile Walking helps you to escape and fresh air gives you a sense of forward thinking. There might be a particular place you like to go. Mine is visiting granny and grandad at the cemetery. It doesn’t make me sad. It does nothing but help me put things into perspective.

Be in the best company you need

If you have someone who knows you inside out, spend time with them. They know if you need to talk to release a feel of relaxation. They also know whether you need silence. Or if you simply need a hug. Sometimes you might just need them to be there while you fall asleep. Knowing you have them and feel them with you is enough to tell you that everything’s going to be okay.

All of these in their own way teach you what it’s important. Sometimes, looking after yourself needs to come first.

What helps you to relax? Share your thoughts in the comments box further down the page.