low-angle photo of smiley face balloons

Don’t Let Other People Control Your Happiness

It’s time to start putting more effort into my own happiness. It wasn’t so long ago that I thought I was better at letting things go.

Crying isn’t always a bad thing. But surely too much of it can’t be healthy? That’s what I’ve discovered over the last few weeks. People can have an impact on your emotions and they don’t even know it. Perhaps their actions aren’t always intentional but at the same time, they’re just not needed.

What am I going to do about it?

I need to like being myself, which I’m not completely so far away from. But if I could just get rid of this one thing that bugs me more than anything, its people’s opinions, their need to get involved an overwhelming amount or the inappropriate comments and gestures. People close to me advise me to ignore them. That’s where I’m weak. I struggle so much to try to put things to the back of my mind. And when I eventually do, something else pops up.

It’s down to me. For things to change, I need to focus on the more meaningful things in life. There are tonnes of things to smile about and to be thankful for. I’m not going to lose sight of myself trying to please others. Sometimes, it’s about speaking up and being brave.

Think about this too…

You can lose followers on social media but you shouldn’t let this impact your value. And you can have people who you drift anyway from that were your ‘mates’ or ‘friends’. Some of these people come into your life for a reason. Some friendships slip away, meanwhile others can stay forever. It doesn’t matter about the number of friends you have. What matters is, who they truly are. The truth is, I think we’re all worth more than we realise. It’s when you discover who you really are that leads you to believing how important your happiness is.

Am I really lonely? My parents do what they can to support me. My big brothers have always got my back. And I have the most amazing human being (Danny) by my side in all that I do. Surrounding yourself with the ones who love you is much better than being round a hundred people who might not believe in you or value who you really are.

The new adventure is right around the corner

I keep telling myself, “It’s not long now.” Me and Danny are waiting for those two weeks notice or whatever it’ll end up being to notify us when our home will be ready for us. I’ve visioned not only the day but everything leading up to this moment for so long. In fact, we both have. This is our journey. We’re going to travel on it in no other way but ours.

Now, the next time you find yourself becoming so lost in your emotions, fighting against other people’s matters or say, remember what you should really be focusing on. Tell yourself a million times. I should know, I’m constantly sending myself the reminder. If you do feel like you’re falling down again, go to your happy place.

Don’t let other people control your happiness, create your own kind of happiness.

Asking Myself Why Do I Do These Things?

Since my last post about realising where you’re supposed to be, I felt another reflective post coming along so here goes…

You’re known as the happy, giddy kind of person. But guess what, you are allowed to deflate those emotions from time to time. I guess it’s only normal. Yeah, I’ve felt down on many occasions, never seriously health wise but it still counts. It doesn’t seem to all come from negative experiences but the thought of being the best person I can be.

Wondering if I should be like them

Unfortunately for me, being that ‘best kind of person’ brings a lot of self-comparison. No matter how many times someone tells you you’re perfect or amazing, you find that something that you wonder if you should be or be better at. It’s a destructive path to follow and can cause so much damage to your mind. But if you do your best to push away all of the negative energy, you’re in control of your happiness in a way you never thought you could be.

I know how bad it is to become so obsessive what ifs, especially when you just found a way to stop being so caught up on those thoughts. And I also think about what someone could’ve had. Seeing pictures thinking someone looks perfect and trying to live up to that. And what’s worse, I keep going back to look. Why?!

One minute I’m confident, the next I’m wondering what else I can find that I don’t like. The thing is, there are so many great things about us all. As many of us that there are on the planet, I still think there’s something that makes each one of us different. And that is exactly what I need to remember – to embrace who I am and everything that’s part of me.

Becoming so lonely in my own thoughts

Do you think keeping every single thought to yourself is healthy? It isn’t. Sometimes you need to let of steam. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m not shy of a good rant. But I like to think there’s reasoning behind them… or at least a few of them eh? For instance, when people keep going down the same route. You work yourself up so much and then you realise that it’s down to them to deal with it. You can only be there as a shoulder to cry on to try and be the wise person you hope others perceive you to be.

Even the people closest to be but get a surprise if they heard some of the, let’s say “daft” thoughts inside my head. But my boyfriend usually picks up the signs. He’s so used to how I can be different kinds of quiet, a smile that shows I don’t really want to smile, or the want to scream into my pillow. There’s nothing quite like having your own little councillor. I don’t even say that sarcastically. He’s sat through so much my misguided thoughts. Not only has he listened, he’s offered ways to direct me into a happier mind.

Thinking about not being part of a big friendship group

You have never been the most popular and sometimes you feel like you’re alone. So many people come in and out of your life then you hit a point where you realise this is the part where everyone stays. I’m a big believer in that, who ever is supposed to stay in your life will stay. And the ones who aren’t will leave if you don’t decide to leave before them already.

I can count my friends on one hand. Sounds sad? But it how I prefer it. A smaller circle of friends is so much better for me. And them too are all different in their own ways. That’s what I love about them. Now I say it, I see why I should love myself more. Popularity doesn’t give you the greatest amount of happiness on earth. Creating fun memories that you’ll remember forever is what does.

Throughout all of this, I see how much prettier and ambitious some girls are going to be. I suppose the only person who’s stopping me from being those things is myself. Maybe I need to see the beauty in the little perks I have and remember all of the things I never thought I’d accomplish and have done so.

woman in tulip field

The Moment You Start to Feel Like You Again

Do you have a period in your life where you wish you could feel like you again? Of course you do. That’s because we all do. It’s called being human. There are times where we feel like we might have stopped making an effort, or making the effort is what drains you.

Remember to not lose sight of the things that make you happy and make you feel your best.

How amazing is the feeling when you start to feel like you again?

Last weekend was the first time I’ve had my hair done in three months. I went for the full pamper – highlights, cut, blow dry and treatment. And wow I feel as if I look like me again! I couldn’t stop feeling my hair to feel how much healthier it was. I didn’t care if no one noticed because I felt amazing!

Maybe I’ll get round to painting my nails some time soon as I keep saying I will…

Back to the things I love

Today is the first time in two weeks that I’ve posted on Instagram. I usually have stock of photos ready to upload multiple times in the week. But I finally got around to editing a few this evening. And with Amsterdam coming up at the end of next month, there’s bound be loads more new travel shots coming your way.

And here I am writing a blog post. You hear of many people saying that they’re “neglecting” their blog. But in my eyes, I post when I have the right motivation to do so. I don’t believe the whole “bad blogger” thing.

Exciting things are happening

Very serious times now. No more nipping in that shop to see what cute top is on offer. It’s all about keeping extra money aside for our future. Me and Danny are finally hitting an exciting step in our lives. There are months to go but we can’t wait to make a house our home if all goes to plan. As Danny said the other night as he ran and kissed me good night, “Tasha… it’s happening!”

Anyone who knows me understands how long I’ve waited for it all the start happening. I’ve been buying kitchen utensils, bathroom furnishings, and new bedding for the past two years. Yeah we’ll see different sides to each other considering we’ll be living together but I don’t doubt for one minute that we’ll ever grow to hate each other.

Being happy in the moment and looking forwards the future

I’ve learnt to ignore anyone’s comments that are nothing but positive. The future will be amazing because we’re going to make it amazing, having each other, just as we always have. We have worked so hard to head in this direction stepping closer to something we’ve dreamt of for years. No one is going to change that.

Is there anything that’s happened recently to make you feel like you again? Have you got any exciting news? Tell me in the comments below.

tablet glasses and phone on a table outdoors

Travel to Wherever Life Takes You

You come into the world as a tiny baby. Months go by and you’re learning how to roll over, crawl, make your own kind of noises to communicate in your own language etc. More time goes by and you’re walking, and eventually you’re talking in actual words. Your parents don’t want you to grow up. You start off with nursery or primary school. By the time you know it you’re in high school. After then, everything really is down to you.

It’s up to you to make decisions for your future. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be the right or wrong ones. They’re your decisions and you’re going to make them. Mine was to attend college and university to study the subjects I was truly passionate about and wanted to do well in.

Did I love the whole college/uni experience? Nope. But I didn’t entirely hate them at the same time (okay maybe with college I did). A good thing though, was that I had quite a few friends at college. Completing college and uni was what I always wanted to do. I told myself to get to the end, for me and no-one else. I’m not on earth to prove myself to anyone, as hard as that can be at times to remember.

Wondering what’s going to happen next? Travel to wherever life takes you.

I remember finding out I was going to uni two weeks before the first term began. Those weeks of waiting really made me so anxious. The dread. The constant questions like, “So, what are you going to do with your life if you’re not getting into uni?” I was clueless – I didn’t have an idea in the slightest what was going to happen. Back then I wish I would’ve replied, “I’m going to do me.”

I guess by being me is what got be that place. There was some potential. The three years were… okay. I’m glad I met a friend who I still keep in touch with today. But I don’t think I got the entire ‘uni life’ experience. I walked in alone. And there was a lot around me that I didn’t enjoy. But I graduated so that’s something that can’t be taken away.

After this point, more challenges came my way. One, two, three, twenty-something interviews later to be where I am today. From a sales assistant from the age of 16 to a learning support administrator, marketing assistant, and now happily in the position of marketing coordinator and content writer.

So I’m kind of stubborn

Some say I’m stubborn and to be honest I can be. But I’m also just true to myself. When you’re told how/when/why/where you should do something, you stop to think, hang on a minute this is my life. So I’m going to live it my way. And I’m so glad I stuck to that. I didn’t get amazing college or uni results like what you see on the news. They always show the ones at the top of the class getting into the most famous and high up institutions. What about the rest of us eh?

There’s so much pressure in the world, we’re expected to achieve certain things to be valued as ‘intelligent’. I know there are certain areas that are my strongest. But I’ve also got my weakest just like everyone else.

Following the crowd has never been my style. I was bad at it and that’s because being like someone else isn’t what’s going to make you happy. Until you see you for who you are and focus on the things that make you happy, you’ll realise you’ll felt nothing like it. You look back and wish you would’ve had the courage to take certain steps sooner. But the important thing is that you got there in the end.

Talking steps independently

I’m the type of person who likes to do a lot of things on my own without anyone holding my hand. If I went alone to get the coil fitted I can do anything, right? It’s funny, whenever Danny makes a comment I always say “It’s cos I’m an independent woman like Beyoncé!”

I walked into my first day of high school on my own being aware that only a couple of people from primary school would be there. I’d spent some dinners alone but that didn’t make me a ‘loner’. Some people knew who I was. And some didn’t. Some days my friends just had things going on. I faced bullies alone. I didn’t tell a soul. It took my brother to figure it out.

In primary school, on several occasions I would wait until I was alone in a room to cry my eyes out when granny passed away. I used to get the bus on my own up to visit grandad at the hospital. And to this day I’ll go to see them at the cemetery alone. But my dad or Danny do like to come along when they can. Dad knows to wait in the car for a while though. And Danny always gives me some time for just the 3 of us.

A lot of the time, I go shopping on my own. I take it upon myself to take myself for a walk! Sometimes I go to the gym alone and sometimes I don’t. It’s nice to have a mixture of both. Obviously when I need help or support, the people who love me most recognise when to step in.

Let the people who care for you be there for you

Sometimes, I’m wrong to think I must have it all together on my own. If you’re lucky to have someone who wants to be there for you, don’t stop them, let them in. My person for that is someone who’s going to be in my life forever. Not just someone who’s in your life temporarily. I’ve learnt that keeping your friends group small is good for me. No drama. I see certain people as the ones I shared memories with. But it doesn’t matter that we’re not friends kind of friends, you know? It’s never going to be like that again and I’m fine with that.

Things happen. Life happens. Travel to wherever it takes you and follow the things that make you happy.

To the Girl Who Wants to Be Herself

Are you just a girl who wants to be herself? You’ll feel so much better once you figure out how to. Even if it doesn’t feel like you can right now, eventually you’ll find the strength to. It starts with controlling how to react to other people’s actions and opinions towards you. You need to remember that its their deal. Let them think whatever they like. You’re stronger than that. And you’re definitely much smarter than they are.

You’re capable of so many things

You always tend to underestimate your capabilities. Your mind works overdrive on little things. And you compare yourself to others. It doesn’t get you anywhere though does it? You know you’re not worthless. But you just struggle to find that boost of confidence that you need right now. You’re actually not a weak person, you know. You just think you are.

Walking down the corridor at school, college, or university, you may have been alone a lot of the time. That doesn’t make you weak. See it as a young woman who’s independent and can be by herself. It’s nice to have company sometimes and share laughs. Other times, its good to be part of the world where you don’t have to ‘fit into the crowd’. Be your own person. Create your own kind of happiness.

Feel good to be you

Wear makeup. Don’t wear makeup. Talk a lot. Or don’t speak at all. You’re far from weak. Be the girl who stands up for what she believes in. Be the woman who sees how much she’s grown and can see how far she’s come. Don’t be afraid to express yourself. Be creative. Tell people your ideas. Do something that you love and are so passionate about. Be extraordinary. Surprise people.

Focus on the people who focus on you. Sometimes, you might not know it but you actually inspire them in some way or another. Stay in and chill. Go to a party. Take a walk. Travel. Explore the world. Enjoy the things in life that most people take for granted or don’t even recognise. Make plans that give you something to look forward to.

It’s down to you

Wake up with a smile on your face no matter what day of the week it is. It’s all about what you put into the day no matter how stressful or difficult it might be. Remember what’s important. Surround yourself with the people who make you feel like you matter. Remember, being yourself doesn’t have to please everyone.

You’ll find the strength you never knew you had – one step at a time. Living life your way will never have felt so good. Are you going to try to be the girl who wants to be herself?

5 Small But Impactful Things I’ve Learnt in Life

Let’s talk about the impactful things in life… Okay I do this one a lot, especially at this point in my life. But does anyone else do the same thing? Someone/something stresses you out. But you don’t stop to think for a moment that if it’ll matter tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year? You also don’t think to wonder if anyone else is stressing over the same thing. The majority of the time it’s absolutely pointless. So here’s to the main point of this blog post – the things I’ve learned recently and will probably keep on learning.

Already kinda hit the nail on the head above but… don’t stress over the unnecessary.

Pretty hypocritical for me to say because I stress so much about the little things. I work myself up about things that no one else would be bothered about. In fact, if it’s ever down the person, they wouldn’t think for a moment how its affected you. So, this is a big one for me. Will I ever stop? Probably not. But the main thing is that as I notice I’m doing it, I’ve to understand how important it is to relax. Other times, I just tell myself: “High blood pressure doesn’t go down itself you know, Tasha.”

How someone chooses to live their life doesn’t concern you. Likewise, how you live your life shouldn’t be portrayed how others want to see it.

Life doesn’t come with instructions on how to live the perfect life. But if we could spend less time worrying about how others do this and that and start to live our own lives, maybe we’ll be much happier. We need more of that in the world – positivity, building each other up.

Everyone has their opinions. The people you wouldn’t expect to, has them.

We’re all entitled to them after all. Use your opinions wisely though.

Got something on your mind? Share with the people you’re closest too. Don’t use opinions to intend to hurt others. Don’t be selfish. Think about what you say before you say. Be careful of how you react. Some people will never see what you see but that’s okay.

You can’t please everyone. Oh wow, you really can’t. Growing up and facing this fact can be one of the most frustrating things ever.

Why has it gotten to be so much? Who knows. But it never seems to go away. You seem to do something for one person and another gets offended because they didn’t get it. You can’t see everyone every day or week, or more. Take my best friend for instance. I can go a month or so without seeing her. We don’t text every week. Does that mean we don’t care? Nope. It’s true friendship. We’re there for the important parts.

Always follow your dreams. It’s such a common saying, I know. But think about it. I mean, really think about it. No matter how many people are against what you think/say/do, never stop fighting for what you want in life. Aim high, have fun, and do all the things you’ve always wanted to do.

What are the small but impactful things in life for you?