colourful umbrellas open together

Living in a Positive World Starts with You

Living in a positive world can seem far from easy when there are so many negative happening. Sure, but have you ever considered all of the wonderful things that there are to live? Whenever I think something goes wrong, I tell myself that “It could be worse” or that “There are worse things going on in the world.” It’s important to steer towards positive thinking about the future. The happiness in your life starts with you.

A positive mindset, positive friendships and relationships and feeling positive about yourself are three key things to living in a positive world.

Among the high level of pressure in today’s society to achieve things by a certain age to be successful or look a certain way to be classed as attractive is ridiculous. Be whoever the hell you want to be and don’t let anybody else’s appearance determine how attractive you are. There’s beauty in everyone and behind each and every human being are backgrounds that no one could have a clue about. That’s why I think we should grow into our own person rather than what we have seen.

Start with loving yourself

You can’t make people love you so why not love yourself? One of my weaknesses is self-criticism. Whether it be my face, my figure, my hair, skin (the list goes on) there’s always something to pick out. And if it’s not physical it’s wishing I could do better. More recently though, I’ve been recognising my potential. I’ve always believed in taking footsteps on my own journey rather than a vision of somebody else’s. Making my own choices has built the foundation of my happiness today.

Don’t be like everybody else

What’s the fun in being the same as everybody else? I’m probably one of the weirdest and random people you will ever meet. I know it and so do the closest people around me. I’m quiet sometimes but I’m also the giddiest at other times. Following the crowd isn’t my kind of thing. I’m happy to say that I’ve got a handful of close friends and not a single one of them has ever asked me to be different. Every single one of my friends have something different about them that I love. Express those personality traits regardless of what anyone has to say. Being your natural self is the best and you’ll be much happier.

Always believe that something amazing can happen

Going back 5-10 years ago, do you think I imagined to be where I am today? Nope. Having ambition, working incredibly hard and finding who are along the way has helped. I entered this world 3 months early so to my parents, I’ve probably always done the unexpected. I never thought I’d have a man in life who could love me just as much as a father love his daughter or a grandad loves his granddaughter. Being a homeowner by the age of 24 was never a plan but it happened at the right time and with the right person. Heading into a media/writing skilled carer was something that I thought was never going to happen but it did.

Never back down when life gives you heartbreak, challenges, or a sense of disbelief. Always be yourself and never let anyone dull your sparkle.

The Moment You Start to Feel Like You Again

Do you have a period in your life where you wish you could feel like you again? Of course you do. That’s because we all do. It’s called being human. There are times where we feel like we might have stopped making an effort, or making the effort is what drains you.

Remember to not lose sight of the things that make you happy and make you feel your best.

How amazing is the feeling when you start to feel like you again?

Last weekend was the first time I’ve had my hair done in three months. I went for the full pamper – highlights, cut, blow dry and treatment. And wow I feel as if I look like me again! I couldn’t stop feeling my hair to feel how much healthier it was. I didn’t care if no one noticed because I felt amazing!

Maybe I’ll get round to painting my nails some time soon as I keep saying I will…

Back to the things I love

Today is the first time in two weeks that I’ve posted on Instagram. I usually have stock of photos ready to upload multiple times in the week. But I finally got around to editing a few this evening. And with Amsterdam coming up at the end of next month, there’s bound be loads more new travel shots coming your way.

And here I am writing a blog post. You hear of many people saying that they’re “neglecting” their blog. But in my eyes, I post when I have the right motivation to do so. I don’t believe the whole “bad blogger” thing.

Exciting things are happening

Very serious times now. No more nipping in that shop to see what cute top is on offer. It’s all about keeping extra money aside for our future. Me and Danny are finally hitting an exciting step in our lives. There are months to go but we can’t wait to make a house our home if all goes to plan. As Danny said the other night as he ran and kissed me good night, “Tasha… it’s happening!”

Anyone who knows me understands how long I’ve waited for it all the start happening. I’ve been buying kitchen utensils, bathroom furnishings, and new bedding for the past two years. Yeah we’ll see different sides to each other considering we’ll be living together but I don’t doubt for one minute that we’ll ever grow to hate each other.

Being happy in the moment and looking forwards the future

I’ve learnt to ignore anyone’s comments that are nothing but positive. The future will be amazing because we’re going to make it amazing, having each other, just as we always have. We have worked so hard to head in this direction stepping closer to something we’ve dreamt of for years. No one is going to change that.

Is there anything that’s happened recently to make you feel like you again? Have you got any exciting news? Tell me in the comments below.

3 Things to Remember When You’re Lacking Body Confidence Again

Are you lacking body confidence again? Does it feel like you were just right on track then suddenly you’re back to square one for the hundredth time? Well, if that’s you then I’m completely with you. It wasn’t so long ago that I told myself to be nothing but me and be happy in the body I’m in. People still say, “Oh there’s nothing wrong with you”. But you see everything that’s wrong with you.

1. The numbers on the scales aren’t the most important thing

I stopped weighing myself for months… until today. I seen a number that I didn’t want to see on the little piece of paper that prints out on the scales in the gym. However, this time, rather than keeping it in my purse and always looking at it, I scrunched it up and put it in the bin. I always used to think people went to the gym to lose weight. But it isn’t. And I’m nowhere near to being overweight so why do I still a problem when I see the numbers?

The reason why I go to the gym is to stay as toned as I can. And to just keep it. Some weeks I go more than others, and that’s perfectly fine. My problem is, I’ll see someone who’s around the same size as me or maybe even slightly taller, and I’ll think I’ll look better if I way around that same number. Telling myself that seems so bizarre now I’m typing it out and listening to the thought again in my head.

2. Love your own body rather than loving the idea of having somebody else’s

Every body is different. We’re all our own shape and size. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others when we catch them from a distance in an outfit you wish you’d look good in. But why can’t you look good in it? You look at the mannequins but remember they’re not even real. You see Instagram models but remember they’re all edited to look the way they do. Just because you’re an ideal weight doesn’t mean to say that you don’t have problems when it comes to lacking body confidence.

I’ve spent some occasions crying before getting ready because I don’t like the way I look in a dress, or I think a certain colour jeans make my legs look bigger. It might sound so silly to some people but it’s true. The same goes for worrying about bumping into people and always seeming to look your worst. I feel like that happens an awful lot when I’m with my boyfriend and we see someone he knows.

3. You’re so much more than just a body

We’re human beings. Our bodies are a huge part of us inside and out. So remember that there’s beauty inside too. You don’t have to have a beautiful body to do beautiful things. And to be honest, there’s always someone that finds you beautiful if when you’re lacking body confidence that is well and truly needed. You begin to realise how much you’re punishing yourself. It plays with your emotions in so many ways.

My boyfriend tells me I’m gorgeous, beautiful, lovely, etc. whether it’s from a good morning message to him telling me out of the blue how he thinks I look today. Last last week for example, I got dressed for work then I went downstairs to have some breakfast. My hair and makeup wasn’t done but he said, “You look nice today. Not that you don’t every day.” Inside, he makes me feel warm and loved but I still reply, “Don’t say that. I’m not even ready yet.” But then I think, he loves me for me regardless of my body or my emotions I’m feeling from lacking body confidence.

I really hope you’ll tell yourselves these three things day. And remember, even the people who you think look perfect, know what it can be like when it comes to lacking body confidence.

How have you been feeling about your body confidence recently?

To the Girl Who Wants to Be Herself

Are you just a girl who wants to be herself? You’ll feel so much better once you figure out how to. Even if it doesn’t feel like you can right now, eventually you’ll find the strength to. It starts with controlling how to react to other people’s actions and opinions towards you. You need to remember that its their deal. Let them think whatever they like. You’re stronger than that. And you’re definitely much smarter than they are.

You’re capable of so many things

You always tend to underestimate your capabilities. Your mind works overdrive on little things. And you compare yourself to others. It doesn’t get you anywhere though does it? You know you’re not worthless. But you just struggle to find that boost of confidence that you need right now. You’re actually not a weak person, you know. You just think you are.

Walking down the corridor at school, college, or university, you may have been alone a lot of the time. That doesn’t make you weak. See it as a young woman who’s independent and can be by herself. It’s nice to have company sometimes and share laughs. Other times, its good to be part of the world where you don’t have to ‘fit into the crowd’. Be your own person. Create your own kind of happiness.

Feel good to be you

Wear makeup. Don’t wear makeup. Talk a lot. Or don’t speak at all. You’re far from weak. Be the girl who stands up for what she believes in. Be the woman who sees how much she’s grown and can see how far she’s come. Don’t be afraid to express yourself. Be creative. Tell people your ideas. Do something that you love and are so passionate about. Be extraordinary. Surprise people.

Focus on the people who focus on you. Sometimes, you might not know it but you actually inspire them in some way or another. Stay in and chill. Go to a party. Take a walk. Travel. Explore the world. Enjoy the things in life that most people take for granted or don’t even recognise. Make plans that give you something to look forward to.

It’s down to you

Wake up with a smile on your face no matter what day of the week it is. It’s all about what you put into the day no matter how stressful or difficult it might be. Remember what’s important. Surround yourself with the people who make you feel like you matter. Remember, being yourself doesn’t have to please everyone.

You’ll find the strength you never knew you had – one step at a time. Living life your way will never have felt so good. Are you going to try to be the girl who wants to be herself?

Talking About Body Confidence with Women

Body confidence. One minute I’m okay with it. And the next, I find myself in tears wondering when I’m going to accept my body image for what it is. Body confidence with women is something that people don’t always talk about. It’s thought about so much. But you don’t always see people openly talking about how they feel about their bodies.

There’s always been something that I don’t like about my body. From my forever growing body hair, to my toes and feet. Then, I began to realise that as you’re getting older you can’t eat and eat and eat and just expect nothing to happen to your body image. Many people think I’m one of those people who can eat anything I want and not put any weight on. But sadly, that’s not true. If only.

Body confidence and food

I envy anyone who can. I absolutely love my food. And I’ve never been overweight. I’ve learnt the importance of a balanced diet. Part of this has involved sorting better lunches at work. I’ve always had sandwiches and a yoghurt (or something after it). Now, I see myself eating mackerel and salad; chicken salad; soup. And sometimes, I will have the odd chicken Caesar wrap. As much of a choice there is for bread including wholemeal and seeded, my body became bored with it. And actually, it began to feel the effects of it.

Bread is a massive cause of bloating for me. It’s so good. But I have to remember what’s best for my body. For instance, if I’ve had enough bread consumption for the week I might just choose poppadoms rather than naan bread with a curry. It doesn’t end there. I drink more green tea now rather than normal tea. Sugar isn’t in there anymore. But the odd time, I’ll add a sweetener if I feel like I need one.

Saying no the odd thing here and there. Having less of something but still enjoying a treat. There used to be stages where I would eat nothing one minute. And then eat this, that, and everything the next. It’s not too healthy at all. But, I think it’s okay to binge eat days once in a while (especially if you’re hungover or I don’t know, if it’s Sunday?!)

When body confidence affects you mentally and physically

I’ve never been a really unhealthy person or considered to be ‘fat’. But it came to my attention that others thought my weight had increased a bit.  This lowered my body confidence. But surely, we all have occasions in our lives where our weight fluctuates? Here, I’m talking a few pounds, not stone. But those few pounds changed my emotions. Just yesterday when someone made a comment that I look like I’ve lost weight, later on in the day something got me down. I made a joke saying “Did I used to be fat or something because I got told I look like I’ve lost some weight earlier?” and their reply was, “Yeah. Well, you did have a bit of extra weight at one point.”

And that was me. I went upstairs quietly and started to cry. I started to go through my Instagram photos and delete more (as I always have). I find that I don’t start to like photos of myself anymore. A lot of us do this. But I start to look for things that people might see as a flaw. Sometimes, the angle a photo is taken or that double crease in the top/dress makes me see a picture of myself in a totally different way. I start to imagine what other people might see, even if it’s not necessarily the way that they do.

It isn’t always about weight and feeling bloated. Sometimes, it’s about your skin being too dry or too oily. Spots and pimples. Red faced bare skin without any makeup. There are so many things.

Keeping active increases body confidence

Now that I go to the gym, 3-4 times a week, I’m feeling much happier. My body is one of those bodies that needs the regular exercise. The results make me feel better both mentally and physically. Many people will say, “There’s nothing to you.” or that, “You should eat what you want.” And that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m starting to see that there is a great choice of food you can have. It’s nice to try new things.

You don’t have to go to the gym. There are any strength and fitness activities you can do at home. For example, press-ups and sit-ups. If I can do a sit-up (never thought that would happen) then you can too. Try not to be too scared to experiment with other equipment. Some people keep fit to lose weight. Some people keep fit to become stronger. And others keep fit to tone up. I see myself in the increasing my strength and toning up category.

I’ve learnt to love my thighs and my bum. I never knew doing ab workouts could be so fun. Yes, you feel the pain the next day but it’s so worth it. And the same goes for cardio. which I’ve always loved anyway. Since doing a combination of both, along with arms. back, and a little chest, I feel like I can accomplish so much more than I ever did before. A big thank you goes to Danny here for always pushing me further because he knows I can do it.

Enjoy your food and enjoy being you

Enjoying your food and still feeling good about yourself is how it should be. One thing I need to remember is that, it’s okay to not look like everybody else. You weren’t born to be like someone else. You were given your life to be you. I need to try not to criticise how my belly looks so bloated in that dress. Occasions like this have resulted to a lot of clothes being thrown away. And then I feel sad that I don’t feel good in anything I have. Or that, I don’t have enough ‘nice tops’ to throw on.

Oh, they’re a similar height to me so I need to have slimmer legs like them.

We all have days where we think, ah we’ll just eat this today. Or let’s miss the gym that. Don’t punish yourself for doing those things. Do the best you can. And maybe make up for the fitness you missed the week before next time. Pushing myself harder at the gym is something that I never thought I’d do. But it happens and I couldn’t feel better for it.

You have your own body shape and size. As much as body confidence affects all shapes and sizes, try not to compare yourself. I’ve done this way too often. Embrace your body. And next time you think that dress isn’t for you, put it on and walk with confidence.

Recent Thoughts About Self-Love

Until a week or so ago my self-love levels were extremely low. I felt like things were changing. I got back into that place where I disliked loads of things about myself. Telling myself I looked ugly in that outfit or that I’m not good enough so I chose to hide away. I’ve learnt that isolating yourself only makes you feel worse. Sometimes, your own company is good. But too much of it, when you’re putting yourself down isn’t good. It certainly doesn’t help towards improving self-love.

I’ve learnt that avoiding situations can be both, a good and a bad thing. Avoiding situations where all you see are toxic relationships or you feel uncomfortable – I’ve chose to avoid them. Why but yourself into a scenario that makes you feel unhappy? There’s no reason in my eyes. But one thing, I’ve learnt that I need to work on is, to stop pushing people away. Or in fact, pulling myself away.

Self-love starts with being yourself

I’ll never be able to emphasise how important it is to just be yourself. When you can’t come to terms with why someone loves you, or you have a constant cloud of worry hanging over your head – talk to someone. Choose your people wisely. Danny is my person and he always will be. No matter how distant things may seem at times, if you talk to someone, you’ll face a reality. And you’ll see how things really are.

There’s nothing wrong with having the need to work on being you. After all, we need to remember that no-one is perfect. Like I’ve said before:

We all have our flaws. We all make mistakes. The important thing is to try not to make the same mistakes over and okay again.

Enjoy being around the people who really make you happy. Remember that, it is okay to say no. But also remember, sometimes its important to make an effort.

Be your own life coach

Make time for the people who make time for you. Put aside the people who wouldn’t even have you as a thought in their mind. That’s when you’ll start to see what you shouldn’t put up with. A greater step towards self-love. Because it isn’t all about appearance. It can be about the people you surround yourself with or environments you put yourself in.

I can’t promise myself or anybody else that I’m a fully confident woman. Sometimes, I will feel rubbish. But for the most part, I try to hold my head up and tell myself, anything is possible. When you start to realise these kind of things, you worry less about what others think.

So… start working on being the best you that you can be. And self-love will come to you. I completed a mindfulness course online once it was really helpful at the time. Take a look via FutureLearn.