Do Things for You in Your Own Time and in Your Own Way

I’ve realised that a lot of my thoughts today are coming out pretty randomly. You know when you think things in your head and you’re like I’m going to share that with the world? Or is that just me? Well let’s take example…

I mean, am I right?! Then the thoughts got more serious which brings to this post about why you should do things for you and find your own way.

Always remember where you come from.

Anyway more to the point, another thought came into my mind today, a more serious one. Why do we feel so pressured by society, by others around us to do things in a particular order, by a certain age, and feel the need to ‘have it all’?

I’m 24 years old. I’m a young woman who has grew up on council estate ever since the day I brought home from the hospital as a baby. I don’t live in my dream city in the world but that doesn’t mean to say I’m ashamed of where I’ve come from. I’ll never try to be bigger or better than the person I am deep down.

One of my brothers always likes to joke around saying I’m ‘posh’ if I say words in a different accent to him. But he knows I’m truly the girl from her home city. One day I’m going to move out (next year). And I’ll be calling what’s home now mum and dad’s. But just as they say to my older brothers, this will always be our home.

Finding a real love for writing.

I got my degree at the age of 21. I could’ve got it at 40 or not at all, I like to think I’d still be proud at wherever I was in life. In fact, I know I would be. It’s important to find your passion and work hard towards something. But not everyone knows what that is for them. It wasn’t until 3 years ago when I shared my first blog post about happiness and aspirations that I realised what my ‘thing’ was. And it was and still is a love for writing.

Writing stories in primary school and high school was nothing compared to those essays in college and university. Wow they were a different kind. But I realised that my love for writing wasn’t all about the evaluations on the subject I studied or dissertation topics. I didn’t even get the grade I wanted at university. But I accomplished something new which was very hard-working and quite difficult not to get down at.

You’ll have people tell you all sorts but keep doing what you believe is right for you.

It was during and after university where one of the biggest challenges approached me. I felt like I always getting things wrong. Making the wrong decisions. Feeling terribly anxious. And reading into every little detail about not only studies but life in general. It hasn’t been until this past year that I’ve really found myself.

After feeling worthless, not because of the people around me but the lack of opportunities in the employment world. Turns out that I wasn’t getting things wrong. Even with people telling me that I need to get a move on or the looking like a waste of space to others. I was finding myself and finding the right way to go for me, not for anybody else.

background shot of girl with blond pony tail

Living for the moment…

I’ve always believed in travelling on my own path. And part of that is living. We’re not just on this earth to exist, work, and pay things. We’re alive so we should be living. Some will say but I can’t afford it or I’d love to do that. Well why can’t you?

For some people, it can be possible. If you do things the right way you can do so many things. Take me for instance – saving for a house doesn’t stop me having fun. My priorities are in order but I still see my friends. Sometimes we stay in. Sometimes we go out. I still love to travel, it gives me something to look forward to. Some people have children and other commitments. And one day I’d hope to have those. But right now I’m living to take opportunities while I can.

The future can be scary but it can also be amazing.

You can’t predict the future. And you can’t go back in time. But you can always make tomorrow a better day. That’s the motivation I try to wake up with each morning. I’m happy to see that I’ve killed a lot of my fears away. Some big and some small. But they’ve all counted in making me who I am today.

The biggest fears and challenges, the negative what ifs, can test you so much. What if you  put your all into something, do something great, and become closer to reaching new moments you never thought you’d have? That sounds much better, right?

As for the future, I plan to continue to remember what it means to have each day. Take the people who we always say we ‘lost too soon’. What are the things they would’ve loved to have seen you do, or that they never had the chance to do? Make a difference. Smile. And carry on being you.

close up of yellow flower

The 3 Things I Believe in Most in This World

We all have our own life mottos. The things we feel strong about are always there inside us. It’s good to have things to believe in. But sometimes, we become so distracted that we put them aside. We moan about the little things. And we wish for bigger and better days. That’s why I’m sharing this post – to shed some light on the perspective that we just need a little reminder of.

Every second counts.

The time remaining in our future is unknown. I’ve always said I want to live until I’m 100 – to experience the biggest life lessons early and come out stronger. To have many years to smile. To travel and explore my dream destinations. And most of all to be happy around the ones I love the most.So why is it that have a tendency to complain about things that aren’t really the worst things in the world? Next time you feel a huge rant coming on, where it isn’t needed, take a deep breath and just accept what is. Stressing over something that won’t matter tomorrow is unnecessary.

We all make mistakes.

There’s no need to be defined by our past. We should learn from our biggest mistakes. But that doesn’t mean to say that we’ll be perfect in the future. There’s one thing that is possible, being the best person you can be.  One thing that isn’t healthy is dwelling so much on the past.Like I said before, the amount of time our future holds in unknown. So surely we should be doing out utmost to enjoy this time? In the workplace, we get things wrong. We don’t always make the right decisions. We wish we would’ve avoided certain situations. But it’s life. Throw away all the negativity and live for today. Be clear on what and who is important to you – then you’ll get that perspective back and begin to love yourself again.

You should always keep your loved ones close.

When I move out it’ll be one of the most exciting things I’ll ever do. But it’ll also be strange not seeing at least one of parents every day. That’s why I’m going to make sure we stay in touch. It’d be impossible not to. I like to think that me and my brothers are close and they can still tell me anything.And the one thing I used to fear but could never imagining it happening anymore, is losing Danny. Sometimes I think I’ve lost perspective. It upsets me when we don’t see each other much or we aren’t able to talk to each other a lot throughout the day. But then it hits me – we still have each other. We have so much to look forward to. And if we are open with one another and share our dreams together, there’s nothing stopping us.What do you believe in the most?

pink umbrella

Why I’m Much Better at Letting Things Go Than I Used to Be

Letting things go – it sounds easier said than done, right? Well that’s what I always thought too. Until the last few months this changed. I always used to tell myself not to stress about the unnecessary. But wow, I didn’t listen to my own thoughts on those occasions. If I couldn’t do something – stress. Something unexpectedly happens and the fear of the unknown scares you – stress. Worrying about other people – stress. 

We all know stress isn’t good for us. But we seem to anyway. Take today for example. It’s Tuesday. Eugh, I just seem to really dislike Tuesdays. It’s not as if it’s a day where people annoy me. But it’s the little things. I learnt that sometimes, I just need to relax and just think, “Ah whatever!”

I woke up and got straight in the shower. Afterwards I spent half an hour trying to find something to wear in this hot weather and suitable for work. What a nightmare. I ended up wearing black trousers. But I couldn’t spend all morning stressing over that.

That’s nothing, right? So then something else decided to get to me.

The First bus app wasn’t working. Something to do with cellular connection I think, who knows? So I walked back on myself past my house and to the cash machine. Well, the cash machine wasn’t giving me my money. I stayed patient as I noticed that I missed a bus into town. Eventually it withdrawn the cash and I had to pay for a weekly on the bus. I’m pretty gutted because it’s going to cost me more money now over the month period.

Now obviously I wasn’t the happiest bunny this morning. But I could’ve handled it a lot worse. I just ranted to in a few text messages. I didn’t take my frustration out on anybody in person… not even the people who shoved in front of me on the bus just because they felt like they could. I might have shook my head though. That’s my way of letting things go!

And it’s still ‘nothing’ because it could always be worse.

That’s just a small example. But even after the ‘worst days ever’ I tell myself it isn’t actually the worst. I’ve chose to let go of the never-ending thoughts that can remain in my mind.

Telling myself that whatever happens, happens has worked for once. Perhaps I used to crave attention from the wrong people. Or was trying to be some sort of perfection. Or even someone who never wanted anything to go wrong. Well, there will always be people who come in and out of your life. Nothing’s ever perfect. And things won’t always go as you expect them to. The sooner you realise that, you’ll breeze through your journey of letting things go. 

I feel as though I’m in much more control.

Knowing what/who you want to be in your life really helps. In fact, it plays a huge part. You start to realise what matters, who matters, and those who brought nothing but constant annoyance. Or even, the way you felt like you couldn’t be the best version of yourself because you felt like you had to be something else. It’s funny isn’t it? Simple and small changes can have such a positive impact on your happiness. 

The amount of days, weeks, months or years we have in our future is unknown. That’s why it’s so important to learn to let go of things. You can’t always force things to happen in your life. But remember, you can control how to react to them. And you can make a difference in your own life as well as others’. You’ll feel so much positive energy when you just live, accept things, and be whoever the hell you want to be.

Why don’t you try?

I feel much more confident and believe in myself much more. There were days when I was quite minimal with makeups and effort with my hair. But now there are days where I go makeup free. And I’m not wondering what people think. It makes me feel even better when I do it e.g. on a night out when you dress up and feel nice and girly. Here’s to the rest of the girls out there who have this vision.

walking along the sea waves

Talking About Body Confidence with Women

Body confidence. One minute I’m okay with it. And the next, I find myself in tears wondering when I’m going to accept my body image for what it is. Body confidence with women is something that people don’t always talk about. It’s thought about so much. But you don’t always see people openly talking about how they feel about their bodies.

There’s always been something that I don’t like about my body. From my forever growing body hair, to my toes and feet. Then, I began to realise that as you’re getting older you can’t eat and eat and eat and just expect nothing to happen to your body image. Many people think I’m one of those people who can eat anything I want and not put any weight on. But sadly, that’s not true. If only.

Body confidence and food

I envy anyone who can. I absolutely love my food. And I’ve never been overweight. I’ve learnt the importance of a balanced diet. Part of this has involved sorting better lunches at work. I’ve always had sandwiches and a yoghurt (or something after it). Now, I see myself eating mackerel and salad; chicken salad; soup. And sometimes, I will have the odd chicken Caesar wrap. As much of a choice there is for bread including wholemeal and seeded, my body became bored with it. And actually, it began to feel the effects of it.

Bread is a massive cause of bloating for me. It’s so good. But I have to remember what’s best for my body. For instance, if I’ve had enough bread consumption for the week I might just choose poppadoms rather than naan bread with a curry. It doesn’t end there. I drink more green tea now rather than normal tea. Sugar isn’t in there anymore. But the odd time, I’ll add a sweetener if I feel like I need one.

Saying no the odd thing here and there. Having less of something but still enjoying a treat. There used to be stages where I would eat nothing one minute. And then eat this, that, and everything the next. It’s not too healthy at all. But, I think it’s okay to binge eat days once in a while (especially if you’re hungover or I don’t know, if it’s Sunday?!)

When body confidence affects you mentally and physically…

I’ve never been a really unhealthy person or considered to be ‘fat’. But it came to my attention that others thought my weight had increased a bit.  This lowered my body confidence. But surely, we all have occasions in our lives where our weight fluctuates? Here, I’m talking a few pounds, not stone. But those few pounds changed my emotions. Just yesterday when someone made a comment that I look like I’ve lost weight, later on in the day something got me down. I made a joke saying “Did I used to be fat or something because I got told I look like I’ve lost some weight earlier?” and their reply was, “Yeah. Well, you did have a bit of extra weight at one point.”

And that was me. I went upstairs quietly and started to cry. I started to go through my Instagram photos and delete more (as I always have). I find that I don’t start to like photos of myself anymore. A lot of us do this. But I start to look for things that people might see as a flaw. Sometimes, the angle a photo is taken or that double crease in the top/dress makes me see a picture of myself in a totally different way. I start to imagine what other people might see, even if it’s not necessarily the way that they do.

It isn’t always about weight and feeling bloated. Sometimes, it’s about your skin being too dry or too oily. Spots and pimples. Red faced bare skin without any makeup. There are so many things.

Keeping active increases body confidence.

Now that I go to the gym, 3-4 times a week, I’m feeling much happier. My body is one of those bodies that needs the regular exercise. The results make me feel better both mentally and physically. Many people will say, “There’s nothing to you.” or that, “You should eat what you want.” And that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m starting to see that there is a great choice of food you can have. It’s nice to try new things.

You don’t have to go to the gym. There are any strength and fitness activities you can do at home. For example, press-ups and sit-ups. If I can do a sit-up (never thought that would happen) then you can too. Try not to be too scared to experiment with other equipment. Some people keep fit to lose weight. Some people keep fit to become stronger. And others keep fit to tone up. I see myself in the increasing my strength and toning up category.

I’ve learnt to love my thighs and my bum. I never knew doing ab workouts could be so fun. Yes, you feel the pain the next day but it’s so worth it. And the same goes for cardio. which I’ve always loved anyway. Since doing a combination of both, along with arms. back, and a little chest, I feel like I can accomplish so much more than I ever did before. A big thank you goes to Danny here for always pushing me further because he knows I can do it.

Enjoy your food and enjoy being you.

Enjoying your food and still feeling good about yourself is how it should be. One thing I need to remember is that, it’s okay to not look like everybody else. You weren’t born to be like someone else. You were given your life to be you. I need to try not to criticise how my belly looks so bloated in that dress. Occasions like this have resulted to a lot of clothes being thrown away. And then I feel sad that I don’t feel good in anything I have. Or that, I don’t have enough ‘nice tops’ to throw on.

Oh, they’re a similar height to me so I need to have slimmer legs like them.

We all have days where we think, ah we’ll just eat this today. Or let’s miss the gym that. Don’t punish yourself for doing those things. Do the best you can. And maybe make up for the fitness you missed the week before next time. Pushing myself harder at the gym is something that I never thought I’d do. But it happens and I couldn’t feel better for it.

You have your own body shape and size. As much as body confidence affects all shapes and sizes, try not to compare yourself. I’ve done this way too often. Embrace your body. And next time you think that dress isn’t for you, put it on and walk with confidence.

leaf in the sunshine

5 Reasons Why You Should Live Life Your Way

Each year it’s good to think about what the future holds. Sometimes we can’t control what happens in our lives but we can try to make things better and just hope that better things are to come. This post discovers the reasons as to why you should live life your way.

Since writing the last post back then focusing on the high school, college, and university me, I’m proud to be the person that I am today. And it still stands to be true today that,

Many of us will go through life where people have particular perceptions of us. Some people might wish for you to go down a certain route in the future.

Since believing this even more, I’ve definitely taken my own path. I’ve made decisions independently. And this is something which really helps you to live life your way. Even throughout all of the worry at the beginning of last year, I am not happier and a lot less anxious than I used to be. And wow it feels so good. We all learn lessons in life of how to do things better next time, or when to not do things at all.

Thinking about this year, there are lots to look forward to. My blog will turn 3 in July, I’m saving up even more money for mine and Danny’s future, and I just know that there’s so much more to come.

Here’s why you should live life your way

1. You’re a happier person when you’re being yourself
2. You have one life to live and that’s your life to live
3. It’s better to travel on a path taking your own decisions
4. It’s your chance to shine and be independent
5. You spend life doing what you love

Wouldn’t you rather spend your time finding yourself, rather than living the life of someone else? The minute you think you want to act or look like someone else, you’re taking away your own personality traits, goals, and appearance.

Be the person who is the true you, the one that says “I did this for me” at the proudest moments in your life. If I wasn’t myself, I wouldn’t have been to fight to where I am today. You can’t live your life in the shoes of someone else when you’ve got your own to walk in.

What’s the thing that you love the most about living life your way?

woman on yoga mat

The Power of Strengths and Weaknesses

Today I’ve been thinking about what to write. What do I want to share that’s new, something I haven’t done before? That’s when strengths and weaknesses come into my mind. We all have them so it’s a topic for anyone to discuss about how they feel about theirs. Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to try to get rid of a weakness, it isn’t always possible. But you can help yourself by working on ways to overcome particular situations or doing something less.

We all have a weak side.

Take me for instance, if you didn’t know already, I’ve always been a massive worrier. That’s my biggest weakness. I’ve realised more than ever this year though just how pointless it can be to worry about things. You think you’re right to at the time then you realise it isn’t relevant or you didn’t have anything to worry about from the start.

Like I’ve said before, it can help to have someone there to show you how strong you can be.

He has given me the most amazing adventure and it’s only been a small part of the rest of our lives together. No matter how many insecurities I’ve had, no matter what weaknesses or downfalls I have, he’s there.

Other times, it’s up to you to decide how strong you can really be. Think of all of the great things you’ve accomplished. Even if it hasn’t been your day, month, or year, there’s got to be something. Earlier this year I felt like giving up. Facing unemployment or unhappiness in the workplace takes a serious toll on so many things in your life that others don’t always realise. However, once I began to believe in myself and that the right job for me would come along, it’s one of the biggest strengths I’ve ever had.

And then we have our strong side to show…

March was when it all began to crumble. I began to feel worthless but ever since May this year something changed me as a person and my attitude to everything. Seven months later, I can say that I feel like I’m moving forward. All of your past experiences and choices make you who you are today and I’m proud of where I am. Securing a new permanent position was my most-needed goal for 2017. I’m happy, I’m respected, and growing up has become a whole lot more real. And it’s probably going to become surreal when more goals for the future are accomplished.

Take moving out for example, that was my most-wanted goal for 2017. Although me and Danny haven’t yet got our own place, we understand now that we are on a better path in getting there. Saving is under way and we keep imagining what our lives will be like together in our own home. We have more of an understanding of what it takes to meet that goal and are giving ourselves as much time as it needs in order to happen. That’s another key strength of mine that I like to have – patience.

It’s all down to you, just remember that we all have strengths and weaknesses.

I think it can take a lot of persistence, patience, and believing in yourself to get through any kind of year. Remember that you can dream big but you can’t have it all. You might see that some people do ‘have it all’ but you start to realise what’s important in your life. And your life is what matters the most. No matter what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can make things happen.