mental health

woman holding pregnant belly

Spending Time with Bump

[Photo from Pexels]

You might think ‘spending time with bump’ sounds a little odd because he is being carried by me each day. That’s true but I’ve been thinking about how much time I actually dedicate to him even though he’s not on the outside world yet…

Being pregnant is one of the most incredible experiences I have had so far in my life. A little human is growing inside me every day. I feel him kick, wriggle, and move around.

From the moment I found out I was pregnant those ‘mum instincts’ kicked in. And it’s not until recently that I needed to be reminded of them. That’s where my health comes into play. Stress has been a big eye opener in the last few days on how it affects not only me but baby too.

Looking after bump starts with me

In order to look after baby bump, I need to look after myself. I’ve been told several times to take it easy – stop running wild getting those washes done, hoovering up early in the morning, thinking everything has to be done there and then. And there’s a lot going on with day-to-day life too.

Today, I stopped to think, what’s the most important thing in my life right now? And the answer is plural, baby and Danny. A whole new little life and the love of my life to call my own. They give me more meaning each day. I’ve learnt a whole new kind of love and what it feels like to protect and nurture something as well as someone. Our baby boy has brought so much light into our lives before he has even been born.

So, spending time with bump needs to be a big focus for me right now. I always place my hand over my belly and rub it when I feel him. But sometimes I get upset when he doesn’t do the same in return, moving to let me know he is there. And I’ve realised that’s down to me too. Stress isn’t good for anyone, especially not now in my final trimester and the fact I’ve had chronic hypertension (for the last 4 years), needs to be considered. My blood pressure has been creeping up. I know the pregnancy hormones don’t help but I need to change what I do to improve those readings at times.

Taking a step back

Now, I’m really going to try to take more breaks and put things into perspective, otherwise things will take a toll (or more so than they are doing at the moment). I’ve enjoyed my pregnancy so much and I don’t want that to change. It’s such a special, unreal time in my life and I am cherishing it all – the good days and those that aren’t as easy. I do think there should be as many smiles as possible, giving our little boy a message to be smiling inside too.

I’m going to spend more time with bump even if that means a whole day in bed, just me and him. I’m also going to continue to talk to him more, play a song and connect with him because when things get tough, alongside Danny, he makes everything better.

If you’re experiencing your first, second, third, whatever number of pregnancy, let your baby bump know you’re there and do everything in your power to love and care for them.

Tasha walking up Mount Snowdon

The Days When You Are Feeling ‘Ugly’ or ‘Meh’

We are all human so I’m pretty sure you have had some days when you have felt, ‘meh’. Sometimes it’s down to busy or stressful times. On others, it might be because you feel down about yourself, mentally and/or physically. Let me tell you something – I am with you. Over the last week or so I have been thinking of ways to distract myself from when these kind of moments hit me. So, if you feel anything similar to the above, I hope this post will help you.

Stop seeing an ‘ugly’ version of yourself

Take away Instagram, filters, makeup etc. for a moment and think about what pretty is. Look in the mirror and see who you are as your natural self. Remind yourself that you don’t meed to look ‘perfect’ everyday. Feeling bloated is absolutely fine. Bad skins day are okay too. Even bad hair or more tired looking days are normal. Each day, think about what’s important, and what really makes you happy, then your smile will appear without any thoughts getting in the way.

You are doing your best

Life can be hard but really, we are should enjoy it as best as we can. Challenges will arise, you wouldn’t be in the real world if they didn’t. Don’t avoid them, take them on, and tackle them with the determination you know you’ve got. More often than not, the more you try, you can actually surprise yourself with where it can take you. If you don’t get something quite right, it doesn’t make you look bad. Looking good starts with feeling good inside – a key thing I really need to remind myself. 

Everyone is different 

People you know shine in their own ways – each have their own personality and beauty about them. So, why do you look at yourself in a different light when you see how ‘different’ you are? It’s good to have something unique about you even if that means you can be the most random and giddy person in the room; then quiet on other occasions. Don’t change to be someone you are not or to please others.

There will be less motivational days

Try to find something that re-energises you. I know one of my downfalls recently has been down to fitness. I know that a form of my escapism which has worked really well are long walks and running outdoors. I haven’t been hitting the gym on weekends like I used that that’s okay. I just need to remember how important being active on the days when I feel absolutely drained physically and emotionally. A good kick up the bum and I’ll be back at it! 

Are you still thinking negatively about yourself? If the answer is yes, please reach out to someone. This could be a family member, a friend, work colleague, or anyone you feel comfortable around. I decided to do this and trust me, it made a huge difference. Times will get tough every now and again but you will find the strength to get through them.

dandelion blowing with a breeze

The Challenging Road to Confidence

Sometimes people can lower your confidence, why is that? The simple answer is, they can only affect your confidence if you allow them to. Recently I’ve learnt the key for this is how you react to scenarios. Building your confidence is a longer road for some than it is for others.

Looking after you includes looking after your mind so don’t neglect it

If your mind tends to be anything like mine, it’s a sensitive one and more powerful than you think. It’s not only the heart that makes you feel. I think the mind plays a part. Don’t look at what they’re doing, focus on you. When someone undermines you, speak up. Some people find it so easy to belittle others and you find it so difficult to stand up for yourself. That needs to change. Sitting in a corner isolating yourself will only put you into a dark place.

It’s a strange one because people perceive you as a naturally confident and smiley person 24/7. We all have low periods in our life. You can feel so low that you feel like giving up but there’s always a way to get around such situations. Talk to someone, you’ll be surprised who will listen. And you’ll realise that there are people who care more than you think.

How you think others see you can knock your confidence

Don’t let tough or challenging experiences make you feel ‘weak’ or like you’re a failure. It’s down to you to control how you let your mind think. You can have the kindest of things said to you like, “You’re amazing! Don’t let anyone get you down.” But your mind is only going to consider your own thoughts. So why don’t you change your perspective?

Take out of your mind the idea that pleasing others is the best option. Think about it, are they considering the pressure they’re putting on you? Probably not. Learn to say no. Sometimes you can feel nervous approaching new situations, places or people. Try not to lose your confidence if you feel overpowered by somebody or if you think you’re less ‘important’.

You deserve to be valued. There’s always something special that only you have and no one else does. Even if there are similarities, it doesn’t become close because it’s yours.

You don’t need to fight hard times on your own

You can still be the strong, independent person that you are. Remember, it’s okay to ask for guidance or support when needed. Visualise the person you know you really are and stop doubting yourself, you have so much potential, much more than you think. Life can throw all sorts at you, fight back, you’re stronger than you think.

Mental health is such a popular topic at the moment, it’s something we all have and more people need to realise that. Time to Talk Day 2020 is coming up on 6th February. Find out more on the awareness day website: www.time-to-change.org.uk/get-involved/time-talk-day.