Stick to Being Happy Rather Than Wondering

Sitting here wondering what to write when deep down you’ve had an idea of something you’ve been thinking about writing – being happy. You hear the sentences through your head on your way home from work. But getting to grips with how to put it all together is another story. So here goes. This is going to be a post which literally comes out as I write down thoughts that pop into my head.

We spend so much time wishing for things. And sometimes they can be for things you want to happen that probably won’t. I don’t mean the game console you’ve been dying to by or the outfit you’ve had your eye on for ages. This is more about longing for something to happen. I’ve come to terms that it’s okay to dream of nice things. I’ve always told myself and others that it’s okay to dream big. Do what makes you happy.

But here’s something to think about… 

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could go back in time? Perhaps you wanted to change something? Or relive a moment all over again. Reality can get you down. But it can also be so worthwhile. You can think you’ve had the worst day/week/month, whatever. There’s always something who’s really struggling. Be grateful for those who love to be around you. Make it a whole lot easier on yourself and disregard the ones who couldn’t give a damn. You’ll be happy then.

walking on the sandy beach

Memories can come flooding back, good or bad. But where you are right now in this moment is what counts. Everything you’ve experienced in your life so far is shaped who you are today. So what, you could’ve done that differently and you certainly couldn’t handled that better. But you know what? Life goes on. We shouldn’t spend time going over and over on things. It’s so damaging.

Hold onto the good things that make or have made you happy.

Hold the memories that made the smile. The ones that made you feel like you were the most careless, free-spirited version of you. There’s nothing stopping you from being that person again. I like to think that even when there’s silence between people, it doesn’t mean to say either of them doesn’t care about the other. Time teaches us so much. It can show you that you can genuinely drift away onto different paths.

There’s another side I like to look at. And that’s the people who would probably never get it. But it can make you feel so happy when there’s a little bit of conversation there. Or even more than you imagined. When they haven’t forgot things. And it’s as if nothing’s changed no matter how much time apart – that’s another good thing to hold onto. You might wish you had the chance to see someone again. Don’t lose perspective. We all have our lives to live and so on. There’s so much in your life to value. And there’s probably things you wouldn’t even realise that people value about you.

So yeah, it’s been a bit of all things tonight. But there’s got to be someone out there who can grasp what I’m trying to say. Drifting away from this a little bit here’s a little update with me…

Maybe I’m getting somewhere, maybe I’m not?

Since more tests and investigations, the mystery continues. I kinda had a feeling this was going to happen anyway. All of my tests are complete. The kidney and bladder scan came back normal (so the receptionist said) yay! Just one more appointment to go before holiday now. And that’s something I really can’t wait for. To just relax and not have to worry about a thing. I’ve been referred to the hospital in June once I’m back though. And I can guarantee they’ll think my body is a mystery too! But they have to keep searching I guess. Staying happy is the main thing. I better try to keep at it…

balloons close up in the sky

What Missing You Really Means To Me

Have you told anyone “I’m missing you” recently? There are people who’ll come and go in your life. You’ll think you miss them. But when it comes down it, you’re not really missing them. Perhaps, you need to focus on something else or it’s the simple fact that, you use the phrase too loosely.

As you get older it holds much more meaning. Sometimes, I miss seeing my best friend. But we’re always there for each other at the other end of the phone (when she remembers to reply) if not in person. I’ll tell my brothers I miss them and I often wonder if they miss me too. That’s just two examples but there are going to be two main focuses in this blog post. I share a memory of telling someone I miss them and I talk about those I miss every day.

The “I miss you” text message

Three words – ones which don’t mean a lot to some people. However, this ‘I miss you’ was so much more. I told someone I missed them in a texted message and I got them thinking I’d messaged the wrong person. Oh they were wrong. This was definitely meant for them. That night, I miss you opened up a whole new door. Or maybe the door was already open, they’d probably say it was. But I just took forever to see it. It led to one of the longest heart-to-hearts I’ve ever had with this person, and if anything, ever. I let go of all of my insecurities for one moment after letting tears stream down my face, and felt something.

I spent too long chasing other things and this sudden moment made me realise who I really was and what I was really feeling. I was falling in love. A feeling entered my mind and heart that made me feel like no one else was but us. Since this day, we’ve shared conquered a lot of challenges together, taken many adventures, and we’re even more in love with each other.

So now today, I dream of the day where we have our own home. So I won’t have to have those days when I miss him. He’s the person I need when times are the hardest and he’s also the person I have to share all of the best times with. When you feel this, it’s amazing, isn’t it?!

The “I miss you” letters I wrote to my grandparents

I still have these letters along with a lot of things that remind me of granny and grandad. Whenever I see a star in the sky, I see them loving over us. I’ve thought it ever since granny was the first one out of the two to fly into heaven, when I was 7-years-old. Night after night I had to see that same star shining in the sky until I could sleep and go to bed. It was becoming a thing I’d still do if someone was babysitting me. Then I realised that maybe I could look outside my bedroom window. Granny and grandad were two of the most heart-warming people. You don’t need me to tell you that, memories are precious. But I will say that these two people shown me how important it is to live for each moment of each day.

I think when you look at an old photograph or a piece of something that reminds you of someone and it can still cause tears to roll down your face, you know it still hurts that they’re gone. It one thing that I know won’t ever stop. But that’s okay because it means they’ll always be in my heart. I imagine they’re still me sometimes so that I’m still sharing everything with them. Granny saw very closely, the girl I used to be. And grandad saw the little girl turning into a teenager. Wishing they could see me as the young woman I am today won’t bring them back. So every day, whether it’s out loud or in my head, I let them know that I miss them.

Who was the last person you said, “I miss you” to?

When You Feel like You’re in the Sunshine No Matter How Much Rain There Is

Looking back I am not ashamed to say that I was a girl who was a lot more insecure and gullible than I am now.

I didn’t know how to be the most fun teen around – just like now, my friends always seem to have these exciting lifestyles, and that’s okay. I actually love my life even if there are things I want to improve at the moment.