3 Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Frustrated

It’s creeping back, that cloud of feeling frustrated by lots of little things. Rather than being angry I seem more upset. It’s as if working myself up to be annoyed is too much so I just cry and wish people would hold back. Why’s it so difficult for people to do that? Unfortunately we all know that’s not the case. Everybody has to comment on something and it’s so bloody annoying. But life is sometimes, isn’t it?

I’m listening to ‘September Song’ by JP Cooper to chill me out and I think it’s working you know it’s led me to write this blog. Listening to music and blogging really relaxes me. It’s quite therapeutic actually. As amazing as it would be to live a life which isn’t surrounded by judgements and assumptions, the reality is that, there always going to be there.

Throughout any kind of frustration in your life remember these 3 things:

1. Don’t take it out on the wrong person

You can let your emotions get the best of you. Rather than letting the ones who love you and care listen, you take your frustration out on them. Don’t worry, it’s something we’ve all done at some point. Once you realise that you’re hurting the wrong person, you find other ways to revert back to the happier version of yourself before you worried about what anybody says.

2. Just keep being you and do what makes you happy

Okay so now I’m listening to ‘Who You Are’ by Jessie J. She tells us that it’s okay not to be okay. But throughout anything, it’s important to “be true to who you are”. Let’s not allow others ruin our happiness. If you’ve got something good going for you, be proud and keep moving forward. Nothing and no one is perfect but you can have your own kind of perfect. And you deserve to be happy so keep at it.

3. Sometimes it’s best to be in your own company

Listen to music, go for a walk, watch a nice or funny film, find something that works for you. The worst thing you can do though, is to be alone and sit in complete silence in a bundle of worrying thoughts. Find something to concentrate on or something to distract you from feeling frustrated. And yes you guessed it, music and blogging helps with on this one as well.

It can drain you to the point where you become so upset so it’s important to find the things that work for you. What are the 3 things that help you when you’re feeling frustrated?

Would You Rather Meet Someone’s Expectations Or Go Beyond Them?

Do you ever feel like you need to meet someone’s expectations? It’s crazy how we live in a world like this. Some people are brought up having to achieve certain grades and milestones to make their parents proud. My childhood was always about doing my best and if great results followed that was just a bonus. The main thing my parents wanted was for me to play, make friends, and learn new things in the process. But there have still been times where I feel like I disappointed them. It’s something we go through even as we get older.

The growing up stage

Growing up you learn that some friendships are forever and some drift away. And that’s okay. You’re still continuing to learn… you always are no matter no age. Facing the fear of not meeting someone’s expectations will worry you. Why? Because you’re afraid they’ll think less of you, or take away your feeling of being ‘good enough’.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve punished myself for not doing as well in something as I thought I would. Sometimes it’s about making more effort and a whole lot of hard work. But not always. At times, you’ve done all you can and it is what it is. As much of a challenge as it’s been, choosing to go on my own path had led me to the best things in life.

The 3 things that have brought out the best happiness in me are:

  • Sticking to my passion for media and writing throughout primary school (writing stories), high school (beginning a media studies qualification) and continuing with that in college and university. It led me to the job I’m in today which I wouldn’t have got with sticking to my dreams and working hard.
  • Doing things to remember the ones I’ve loved and lost. I’m glad that grandad has his name with granny on their plot. Having his name on there is so important to me. Completing the Great Manchester Run in memory of him was one of the most emotional rollercoasters. And it was one of my biggest accomplishments. I’ve also created my fundraising own event to raise awareness of premature babies, still births, and baby loss for Tommy’s. You might have seen my mum’s story about her experience of a still birth.
  • Being in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend who’s so much more than a ‘boyfriend’ – he’s my best friend. Everything I see in my future is with him. He gets frustrated with some of my insecurities and worries because he wishes I’d see what he does. Having someone who sees nothing but the best in you regardless of your flaws releases an amazing feeling.

It goes to show that you can go beyond your own expectations of yourself

Be proud of yourself. There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in what you do. I’ve probably told you several times that life is living. Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do and plan how/when you can do them. If being happy means you need to remove yourself from environments that drown you in misery then leave. Ask for help if you’re struggling. Surround yourself with positive people and a positive mind will follow.

The key message is, everyone struggles in some way or another. Have more faith in yourself and you’ll see that more things seem possible rather than impossible.

So what do you prefer to do – meet someone’s expectations or choose your own goals and choices? I’d love to know what you think. Comment below or tell me via Tasha Lifestyle on Twitter.

We All Face Change at Least Once in Our Lives

Some people don’t like change but guess what, there’s always going to be something that doesn’t remain the same. I don’t mean the weather or the food you eat tonight for your tea. I’m talking more about employment, relationships, health etc. There’s a consequence to everything that we do. And there are also things we just can’t control but they happen anyway.

Over the past year I’ve heard people facing redundancy more than I ever have before. I’ve seen relationships crumble and others that have rekindled. There’s been sad news affecting people’s health. But do you know what I think about whenever any of these things happen? Hope. Having hope keeps you at an optimistic state of mind. But it’s also important to not get too ahead of yourself. It’s okay to have some of the other possibilities in mind too.

You can look at someone and think they’ll never change, whether it’s for the good or the bad. Or you can look at someone and hope that maybe they’ll work to change just one thing if nothing at all. I’ve always told myself that I’m the type of person who I associate myself with. Through the years, the number of people you chill with, hang with, or call your mates can go down. That doesn’t mean you don’t have any friends or you’re lonely. It means you keep the people who you value and who value you.

Change challenges us all at least once in our lives. There are things that change every day. And there are things that even though they seem like they never change, can change once in while. The main thing is keeping hold of who you are.

Surround yourself with the people who love you and those who want you to be happy. Situations changing won’t even seem like such a huge thing when you’ve got the best people to support you throughout it all.

Travel to Wherever Life Takes You

You come into the world as a tiny baby. Months go by and you’re learning how to roll over, crawl, make your own kind of noises to communicate in your own language etc. More time goes by and you’re walking, and eventually you’re talking in actual words. Your parents don’t want you to grow up. You start off with nursery or primary school. By the time you know it you’re in high school. After then, everything really is down to you.

It’s up to you to make decisions for your future. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be the right or wrong ones. They’re your decisions and you’re going to make them. Mine was to attend college and university to study the subjects I was truly passionate about and wanted to do well in.

Did I love the whole college/uni experience? Nope. But I didn’t entirely hate them at the same time (okay maybe with college I did). A good thing though, was that I had quite a few friends at college. Completing college and uni was what I always wanted to do. I told myself to get to the end, for me and no-one else. I’m not on earth to prove myself to anyone, as hard as that can be at times to remember.

Wondering what’s going to happen next? Travel to wherever life takes you.

I remember finding out I was going to uni two weeks before the first term began. Those weeks of waiting really made me so anxious. The dread. The constant questions like, “So, what are you going to do with your life if you’re not getting into uni?” I was clueless – I didn’t have an idea in the slightest what was going to happen. Back then I wish I would’ve replied, “I’m going to do me.”

I guess by being me is what got be that place. There was some potential. The three years were… okay. I’m glad I met a friend who I still keep in touch with today. But I don’t think I got the entire ‘uni life’ experience. I walked in alone. And there was a lot around me that I didn’t enjoy. But I graduated so that’s something that can’t be taken away.

After this point, more challenges came my way. One, two, three, twenty-something interviews later to be where I am today. From a sales assistant from the age of 16 to a learning support administrator, marketing assistant, and now happily in the position of marketing coordinator and content writer.

So I’m kind of stubborn

Some say I’m stubborn and to be honest I can be. But I’m also just true to myself. When you’re told how/when/why/where you should do something, you stop to think, hang on a minute this is my life. So I’m going to live it my way. And I’m so glad I stuck to that. I didn’t get amazing college or uni results like what you see on the news. They always show the ones at the top of the class getting into the most famous and high up institutions. What about the rest of us eh?

There’s so much pressure in the world, we’re expected to achieve certain things to be valued as ‘intelligent’. I know there are certain areas that are my strongest. But I’ve also got my weakest just like everyone else.

Following the crowd has never been my style. I was bad at it and that’s because being like someone else isn’t what’s going to make you happy. Until you see you for who you are and focus on the things that make you happy, you’ll realise you’ll felt nothing like it. You look back and wish you would’ve had the courage to take certain steps sooner. But the important thing is that you got there in the end.

Talking steps independently

I’m the type of person who likes to do a lot of things on my own without anyone holding my hand. If I went alone to get the coil fitted I can do anything, right? It’s funny, whenever Danny makes a comment I always say “It’s cos I’m an independent woman like Beyoncé!”

I walked into my first day of high school on my own being aware that only a couple of people from primary school would be there. I’d spent some dinners alone but that didn’t make me a ‘loner’. Some people knew who I was. And some didn’t. Some days my friends just had things going on. I faced bullies alone. I didn’t tell a soul. It took my brother to figure it out.

In primary school, on several occasions I would wait until I was alone in a room to cry my eyes out when granny passed away. I used to get the bus on my own up to visit grandad at the hospital. And to this day I’ll go to see them at the cemetery alone. But my dad or Danny do like to come along when they can. Dad knows to wait in the car for a while though. And Danny always gives me some time for just the 3 of us.

A lot of the time, I go shopping on my own. I take it upon myself to take myself for a walk! Sometimes I go to the gym alone and sometimes I don’t. It’s nice to have a mixture of both. Obviously when I need help or support, the people who love me most recognise when to step in.

Let the people who care for you be there for you

Sometimes, I’m wrong to think I must have it all together on my own. If you’re lucky to have someone who wants to be there for you, don’t stop them, let them in. My person for that is someone who’s going to be in my life forever. Not just someone who’s in your life temporarily. I’ve learnt that keeping your friends group small is good for me. No drama. I see certain people as the ones I shared memories with. But it doesn’t matter that we’re not friends kind of friends, you know? It’s never going to be like that again and I’m fine with that.

Things happen. Life happens. Travel to wherever it takes you and follow the things that make you happy.

Do Things for You in Your Own Time and in Your Own Way

I’ve realise that a lot of my thoughts today are coming out pretty randomly. You know when you think things in your head and you’re like I’m going to share that with the world? Or is that just me? Well let’s take example…

I mean, am I right?! Then the thoughts got more serious which brings to this post about why you should do things for you and find your own way.

Always remember where you come from

Anyway more to the point, another thought came into my mind today, a more serious one. Why do we feel so pressured by society, by others around us to do things in a particular order, by a certain age, and feel the need to ‘have it all’?

I’m 24 years old. I’m a young woman who has grew up on council estate ever since the day I brought home from the hospital as a baby. I don’t live in my dream city in the world but that doesn’t mean to say I’m ashamed of where I’ve come from. I’ll never try to be bigger or better than the person I am deep down.

One of my brothers always likes to joke around saying I’m ‘posh’ if I say words in a different accent to him. But he knows I’m truly the girl from her home city. One day I’m going to move out (next year). And I’ll be calling what’s home now mum and dad’s. But just as they say to my older brothers, this will always be our home.

Finding a real love for writing

I got my degree at the age of 21. I could’ve got it at 40 or not at all, I like to think I’d still be proud at wherever I was in life. In fact, I know I would be. It’s important to find your passion and work hard towards something. But not everyone knows what that is for them. It wasn’t until 3 years ago when I shared my first blog post about happiness and aspirations that I realised what my ‘thing’ was. And it was and still is a love for writing.

Writing stories in primary school and high school was nothing compared to those essays in college and university. Wow they were a different kind. But I realised that my love for writing wasn’t all about the evaluations on the subject I studied or dissertation topics. I didn’t even get the grade I wanted at university. But I accomplished something new which was very hard-working and quite difficult not to get down at.

You’ll have people tell you all sorts but keep doing what you believe is right for you

It was during and after university where one of the biggest challenges approached me. I felt like I always getting things wrong. Making the wrong decisions. Feeling terribly anxious. And reading into every little detail about not only studies but life in general. It hasn’t been until this past year that I’ve really found myself.

After feeling worthless, not because of the people around me but the lack of opportunities in the employment world. Turns out that I wasn’t getting things wrong. Even with people telling me that I need to get a move on or the looking like a waste of space to others. I was finding myself and finding the right way to go for me, not for anybody else.

Living for the moment

I’ve always believed in travelling on my own path. And part of that is living. We’re not just on this earth to exist, work, and pay things. We’re alive so we should be living. Some will say but I can’t afford it or I’d love to do that. Well why can’t you?

For some people, it can be possible. If you do things the right way you can do so many things. Take me for instance – saving for a house doesn’t stop me having fun. My priorities are in order but I still see my friends. Sometimes we stay in. Sometimes we go out. I still love to travel, it gives me something to look forward to. Some people have children and other commitments. And one day I’d hope to have those. But right now I’m living to take opportunities while I can.

The future can be scary but it can also be amazing

You can’t predict the future. And you can’t go back in time. But you can always make tomorrow a better day. That’s the motivation I try to wake up with each morning. I’m happy to see that I’ve killed a lot of my fears away. Some big and some small. But they’ve all counted in making me who I am today.

The biggest fears and challenges, the negative what ifs, can test you so much. What if you  put your all into something, do something great, and become closer to reaching new moments you never thought you’d have? That sounds much better, right?

As for the future, I plan to continue to remember what it means to have each day. Take the people who we always say we ‘lost too soon’. What are the things they would’ve loved to have seen you do, or that they never had the chance to do? Make a difference. Smile. And carry on being you.

The Kind of Person You Are and The People Around You

The kind of person you are can hold a mixture of perspectives from different people. But the ones who know you, know exactly the kind of person you are. I’ve already told you the reasons why you should be yourself. So this is about looking at who you are and remembering that positive thinking is the way forward.

As happy as you are right now, do you ever look back and wonder how things would’ve been? Me too. Although I’m big believer in living for now, I still look back from time to time. I believe that the people who are our lives today are the ones who are supposed to be there for some reason or another. And the ones that stay, obviously are the more important ones.

Do you ever wonder if someone thinks about you as much as you think about them? As hard as it is, you need to remember that you’re not always going to a thought in someone else’s mind. The unknown can be an annoying thing but it also adds space for optimistic thoughts in the future. Try not to fear for the worst and instead smile for whatever tries to come your way.

Good memories are the ones you should think about

Always hold onto the good times. They’re the memories that will keep you going and make you smile. If you miss someone who’s no longer with you in person but in your heart, it’s difficult I know, tell yourself that you’ll get through it bit by bit. Or maybe you miss someone who’s around but it doesn’t feel like they are. Again, take the happy moments and reflect on those rather than focusing on other things.

The way things are right now, be grateful for what and who you have each day you wake up in the morning. I don’t have the biggest group of friends in the world. But the ones I do keep close are just what I need. I am by no means perfect. But I am myself.

I’m writing this post as I’m sat up at night just talking away to myself in my head. The thoughts come into my mind, music into my ears through my headphones, and the typing come into action. Writing at night really does help me to focus. It’s as if, when something is on my mind, I can type all my thoughts away and it’s like keeping a deep breath. But they can be a random jumble of thoughts that I try to piece together!

This is the kind of person I am

I’m a happy person. Of course I have days when I might be a bit grumpy. But deep down I’m happy. It really doesn’t matter if people see you differently to how you see yourself. That’s one thing that can ruin your happiness altogether. Be whoever the hell you want to be. I might be too random for some people, too much of a thinker for some, and maybe a bit boring for others? Who cares. I’m me.

I’m the kind of girl who loves sitting in her pyjamas with a messy bun scrunched up on top of my head, eating snacks and binge watching Netflix series. And I’m also someone who loves feeling girly on a night out and enjoys a good dance. I’m happy at times doing nothing and doing something fun on other occasions.

Think about the kind of person you are

All the people you meet and all the things you experience are what shape you into the  kind of person you are today. Be proud of who you are. Give yourself something positive to think about every day, even on the I can’t be bothered days. There’s always something to smile about.

Some people struggle to be who they really are due to the pressures in believing that they aren’t good enough/or that it’s better to be like someone else. I cannot emphasise how much happier you’ll be once you’re able to be yourself.