Emotions

Don’t Let Other People Control Your Happiness

It’s time to start putting more effort into my own happiness. It wasn’t so long ago that I thought I was better at letting things go.

Crying isn’t always a bad thing. But surely too much of it can’t be healthy? That’s what I’ve discovered over the last few weeks. People can have an impact on your emotions and they don’t even know it. Perhaps their actions aren’t always intentional but at the same time, they’re just not needed.

What am I going to do about it?

I need to like being myself, which I’m not completely so far away from. But if I could just get rid of this one thing that bugs me more than anything, its people’s opinions, their need to get involved an overwhelming amount or the inappropriate comments and gestures. People close to me advise me to ignore them. That’s where I’m weak. I struggle so much to try to put things to the back of my mind. And when I eventually do, something else pops up.

It’s down to me. For things to change, I need to focus on the more meaningful things in life. There are tonnes of things to smile about and to be thankful for. I’m not going to lose sight of myself trying to please others. Sometimes, it’s about speaking up and being brave.

Think about this too…

You can lose followers on social media but you shouldn’t let this impact your value. And you can have people who you drift anyway from that were your ‘mates’ or ‘friends’. Some of these people come into your life for a reason. Some friendships slip away, meanwhile others can stay forever. It doesn’t matter about the number of friends you have. What matters is, who they truly are. The truth is, I think we’re all worth more than we realise. It’s when you discover who you really are that leads you to believing how important your happiness is.

Am I really lonely? My parents do what they can to support me. My big brothers have always got my back. And I have the most amazing human being (Danny) by my side in all that I do. Surrounding yourself with the ones who love you is much better than being round a hundred people who might not believe in you or value who you really are.

The new adventure is right around the corner

I keep telling myself, “It’s not long now.” Me and Danny are waiting for those two weeks notice or whatever it’ll end up being to notify us when our home will be ready for us. I’ve visioned not only the day but everything leading up to this moment for so long. In fact, we both have. This is our journey. We’re going to travel on it in no other way but ours.

Now, the next time you find yourself becoming so lost in your emotions, fighting against other people’s matters or say, remember what you should really be focusing on. Tell yourself a million times. I should know, I’m constantly sending myself the reminder. If you do feel like you’re falling down again, go to your happy place.

Don’t let other people control your happiness, create your own kind of happiness.

3 Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Frustrated

It’s creeping back, that cloud of feeling frustrated by lots of little things. Rather than being angry I seem more upset. It’s as if working myself up to be annoyed is too much so I just cry and wish people would hold back. Why’s it so difficult for people to do that? Unfortunately we all know that’s not the case. Everybody has to comment on something and it’s so bloody annoying. But life is sometimes, isn’t it?

I’m listening to ‘September Song’ by JP Cooper to chill me out and I think it’s working you know it’s led me to write this blog. Listening to music and blogging really relaxes me. It’s quite therapeutic actually. As amazing as it would be to live a life which isn’t surrounded by judgements and assumptions, the reality is that, there always going to be there.

Throughout any kind of frustration in your life remember these 3 things:

1. Don’t take it out on the wrong person

You can let your emotions get the best of you. Rather than letting the ones who love you and care listen, you take your frustration out on them. Don’t worry, it’s something we’ve all done at some point. Once you realise that you’re hurting the wrong person, you find other ways to revert back to the happier version of yourself before you worried about what anybody says.

2. Just keep being you and do what makes you happy

Okay so now I’m listening to ‘Who You Are’ by Jessie J. She tells us that it’s okay not to be okay. But throughout anything, it’s important to “be true to who you are”. Let’s not allow others ruin our happiness. If you’ve got something good going for you, be proud and keep moving forward. Nothing and no one is perfect but you can have your own kind of perfect. And you deserve to be happy so keep at it.

3. Sometimes it’s best to be in your own company

Listen to music, go for a walk, watch a nice or funny film, find something that works for you. The worst thing you can do though, is to be alone and sit in complete silence in a bundle of worrying thoughts. Find something to concentrate on or something to distract you from feeling frustrated. And yes you guessed it, music and blogging helps with on this one as well.

It can drain you to the point where you become so upset so it’s important to find the things that work for you. What are the 3 things that help you when you’re feeling frustrated?

3 Things to Remember When You’re Lacking Body Confidence Again

Are you lacking body confidence again? Does it feel like you were just right on track then suddenly you’re back to square one for the hundredth time? Well, if that’s you then I’m completely with you. It wasn’t so long ago that I told myself to be nothing but me and be happy in the body I’m in. People still say, “Oh there’s nothing wrong with you”. But you see everything that’s wrong with you.

1. The numbers on the scales aren’t the most important thing

I stopped weighing myself for months… until today. I seen a number that I didn’t want to see on the little piece of paper that prints out on the scales in the gym. However, this time, rather than keeping it in my purse and always looking at it, I scrunched it up and put it in the bin. I always used to think people went to the gym to lose weight. But it isn’t. And I’m nowhere near to being overweight so why do I still a problem when I see the numbers?

The reason why I go to the gym is to stay as toned as I can. And to just keep it. Some weeks I go more than others, and that’s perfectly fine. My problem is, I’ll see someone who’s around the same size as me or maybe even slightly taller, and I’ll think I’ll look better if I way around that same number. Telling myself that seems so bizarre now I’m typing it out and listening to the thought again in my head.

2. Love your own body rather than loving the idea of having somebody else’s

Every body is different. We’re all our own shape and size. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others when we catch them from a distance in an outfit you wish you’d look good in. But why can’t you look good in it? You look at the mannequins but remember they’re not even real. You see Instagram models but remember they’re all edited to look the way they do. Just because you’re an ideal weight doesn’t mean to say that you don’t have problems when it comes to lacking body confidence.

I’ve spent some occasions crying before getting ready because I don’t like the way I look in a dress, or I think a certain colour jeans make my legs look bigger. It might sound so silly to some people but it’s true. The same goes for worrying about bumping into people and always seeming to look your worst. I feel like that happens an awful lot when I’m with my boyfriend and we see someone he knows.

3. You’re so much more than just a body

We’re human beings. Our bodies are a huge part of us inside and out. So remember that there’s beauty inside too. You don’t have to have a beautiful body to do beautiful things. And to be honest, there’s always someone that finds you beautiful if when you’re lacking body confidence that is well and truly needed. You begin to realise how much you’re punishing yourself. It plays with your emotions in so many ways.

My boyfriend tells me I’m gorgeous, beautiful, lovely, etc. whether it’s from a good morning message to him telling me out of the blue how he thinks I look today. Last last week for example, I got dressed for work then I went downstairs to have some breakfast. My hair and makeup wasn’t done but he said, “You look nice today. Not that you don’t every day.” Inside, he makes me feel warm and loved but I still reply, “Don’t say that. I’m not even ready yet.” But then I think, he loves me for me regardless of my body or my emotions I’m feeling from lacking body confidence.

I really hope you’ll tell yourselves these three things day. And remember, even the people who you think look perfect, know what it can be like when it comes to lacking body confidence.

How have you been feeling about your body confidence recently?

Travel to Wherever Life Takes You

You come into the world as a tiny baby. Months go by and you’re learning how to roll over, crawl, make your own kind of noises to communicate in your own language etc. More time goes by and you’re walking, and eventually you’re talking in actual words. Your parents don’t want you to grow up. You start off with nursery or primary school. By the time you know it you’re in high school. After then, everything really is down to you.

It’s up to you to make decisions for your future. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be the right or wrong ones. They’re your decisions and you’re going to make them. Mine was to attend college and university to study the subjects I was truly passionate about and wanted to do well in.

Did I love the whole college/uni experience? Nope. But I didn’t entirely hate them at the same time (okay maybe with college I did). A good thing though, was that I had quite a few friends at college. Completing college and uni was what I always wanted to do. I told myself to get to the end, for me and no-one else. I’m not on earth to prove myself to anyone, as hard as that can be at times to remember.

Wondering what’s going to happen next? Travel to wherever life takes you.

I remember finding out I was going to uni two weeks before the first term began. Those weeks of waiting really made me so anxious. The dread. The constant questions like, “So, what are you going to do with your life if you’re not getting into uni?” I was clueless – I didn’t have an idea in the slightest what was going to happen. Back then I wish I would’ve replied, “I’m going to do me.”

I guess by being me is what got be that place. There was some potential. The three years were… okay. I’m glad I met a friend who I still keep in touch with today. But I don’t think I got the entire ‘uni life’ experience. I walked in alone. And there was a lot around me that I didn’t enjoy. But I graduated so that’s something that can’t be taken away.

After this point, more challenges came my way. One, two, three, twenty-something interviews later to be where I am today. From a sales assistant from the age of 16 to a learning support administrator, marketing assistant, and now happily in the position of marketing coordinator and content writer.

So I’m kind of stubborn

Some say I’m stubborn and to be honest I can be. But I’m also just true to myself. When you’re told how/when/why/where you should do something, you stop to think, hang on a minute this is my life. So I’m going to live it my way. And I’m so glad I stuck to that. I didn’t get amazing college or uni results like what you see on the news. They always show the ones at the top of the class getting into the most famous and high up institutions. What about the rest of us eh?

There’s so much pressure in the world, we’re expected to achieve certain things to be valued as ‘intelligent’. I know there are certain areas that are my strongest. But I’ve also got my weakest just like everyone else.

Following the crowd has never been my style. I was bad at it and that’s because being like someone else isn’t what’s going to make you happy. Until you see you for who you are and focus on the things that make you happy, you’ll realise you’ll felt nothing like it. You look back and wish you would’ve had the courage to take certain steps sooner. But the important thing is that you got there in the end.

Talking steps independently

I’m the type of person who likes to do a lot of things on my own without anyone holding my hand. If I went alone to get the coil fitted I can do anything, right? It’s funny, whenever Danny makes a comment I always say “It’s cos I’m an independent woman like Beyoncé!”

I walked into my first day of high school on my own being aware that only a couple of people from primary school would be there. I’d spent some dinners alone but that didn’t make me a ‘loner’. Some people knew who I was. And some didn’t. Some days my friends just had things going on. I faced bullies alone. I didn’t tell a soul. It took my brother to figure it out.

In primary school, on several occasions I would wait until I was alone in a room to cry my eyes out when granny passed away. I used to get the bus on my own up to visit grandad at the hospital. And to this day I’ll go to see them at the cemetery alone. But my dad or Danny do like to come along when they can. Dad knows to wait in the car for a while though. And Danny always gives me some time for just the 3 of us.

A lot of the time, I go shopping on my own. I take it upon myself to take myself for a walk! Sometimes I go to the gym alone and sometimes I don’t. It’s nice to have a mixture of both. Obviously when I need help or support, the people who love me most recognise when to step in.

Let the people who care for you be there for you

Sometimes, I’m wrong to think I must have it all together on my own. If you’re lucky to have someone who wants to be there for you, don’t stop them, let them in. My person for that is someone who’s going to be in my life forever. Not just someone who’s in your life temporarily. I’ve learnt that keeping your friends group small is good for me. No drama. I see certain people as the ones I shared memories with. But it doesn’t matter that we’re not friends kind of friends, you know? It’s never going to be like that again and I’m fine with that.

Things happen. Life happens. Travel to wherever it takes you and follow the things that make you happy.

Why I’m Much Better at Letting Things Go Than I Used to Be

Letting things go – it sounds easier said than done, right? Well that’s what I always thought too. Until the last few months this changed. I always used to tell myself not to stress about the unnecessary. But wow, I didn’t listen to my own thoughts on those occasions. If I couldn’t do something – stress. Something unexpectedly happens and the fear of the unknown scares you – stress. Worrying about other people – stress. 

We all know stress isn’t good for us. But we seem to anyway. Take today for example. It’s Tuesday. Eugh, I just seem to really dislike Tuesdays. It’s not as if it’s a day where people annoy me. But it’s the little things. I learnt that sometimes, I just need to relax and just think, “Ah whatever!”

I woke up and got straight in the shower. Afterwards I spent half an hour trying to find something to wear in this hot weather and suitable for work. What a nightmare. I ended up wearing black trousers. But I couldn’t spend all morning stressing over that.

That’s nothing, right?

So then something else decided to get to me. The First bus app wasn’t working. Something to do with cellular connection I think, who knows?

So I walked back on myself past my house and to the cash machine. Well, the cash machine wasn’t giving me my money. I stayed patient as I noticed that I missed a bus into town. Eventually it withdrawn the cash and I had to pay for a weekly on the bus. I’m pretty gutted because it’s going to cost me more money now over the month period.

Now obviously I wasn’t the happiest bunny this morning. But I could’ve handled it a lot worse. I just ranted to in a few text messages. I didn’t take my frustration out on anybody in person… not even the people who shoved in front of me on the bus just because they felt like they could. I might have shook my head though. That’s my way of letting things go!

And it’s still ‘nothing’ because it could always be worse

That’s just a small example. But even after the ‘worst days ever’ I tell myself it isn’t actually the worst. I’ve chose to let go of the never-ending thoughts that can remain in my mind.

Telling myself that whatever happens, happens has worked for once. Perhaps I used to crave attention from the wrong people. Or was trying to be some sort of perfection. Or even someone who never wanted anything to go wrong. Well, there will always be people who come in and out of your life. Nothing’s ever perfect. And things won’t always go as you expect them to. The sooner you realise that, you’ll breeze through your journey of letting things go. 

I feel as though I’m in much more control

Knowing what/who you want to be in your life really helps. In fact, it plays a huge part. You start to realise what matters, who matters, and those who brought nothing but constant annoyance. Or even, the way you felt like you couldn’t be the best version of yourself because you felt like you had to be something else. It’s funny isn’t it? Simple and small changes can have such a positive impact on your happiness. 

The amount of days, weeks, months or years we have in our future is unknown. That’s why it’s so important to learn to let go of things. You can’t always force things to happen in your life. But remember, you can control how to react to them. And you can make a difference in your own life as well as others’. You’ll feel so much positive energy when you just live, accept things, and be whoever the hell you want to be.

Why don’t you try?

I feel much more confident and believe in myself much more. There were days when I was quite minimal with makeups and effort with my hair. But now there are days where I go makeup free. And I’m not wondering what people think. It makes me feel even better when I do it e.g. on a night out when you dress up and feel nice and girly. Here’s to the rest of the girls out there who have this vision.

Stick to Being Happy Rather Than Wondering

Sitting here wondering what to write when deep down you’ve had an idea of something you’ve been thinking about writing – being happy. You hear the sentences through your head on your way home from work. But getting to grips with how to put it all together is another story. So here goes. This is going to be a post which literally comes out as I write down thoughts that pop into my head.

We spend so much time wishing for things. And sometimes they can be for things you want to happen that probably won’t. I don’t mean the game console you’ve been dying to by or the outfit you’ve had your eye on for ages. This is more about longing for something to happen. I’ve come to terms that it’s okay to dream of nice things. I’ve always told myself and others that it’s okay to dream big. Do what makes you happy.

But here’s something to think about… 

Do you ever find yourself wishing you could go back in time? Perhaps you wanted to change something? Or relive a moment all over again. Reality can get you down. But it can also be so worthwhile. You can think you’ve had the worst day/week/month, whatever. There’s always something who’s really struggling. Be grateful for those who love to be around you. Make it a whole lot easier on yourself and disregard the ones who couldn’t give a damn. You’ll be happy then.

Memories can come flooding back, good or bad. But where you are right now in this moment is what counts. Everything you’ve experienced in your life so far is shaped who you are today. So what, you could’ve done that differently and you certainly couldn’t handled that better. But you know what? Life goes on. We shouldn’t spend time going over and over on things. It’s so damaging.

Hold onto the good things that make or have made you happy

Hold the memories that made the smile. The ones that made you feel like you were the most careless, free-spirited version of you. There’s nothing stopping you from being that person again. I like to think that even when there’s silence between people, it doesn’t mean to say either of them doesn’t care about the other. Time teaches us so much. It can show you that you can genuinely drift away onto different paths.

There’s another side I like to look at. And that’s the people who would probably never get it. But it can make you feel so happy when there’s a little bit of conversation there. Or even more than you imagined. When they haven’t forgot things. And it’s as if nothing’s changed no matter how much time apart – that’s another good thing to hold onto. You might wish you had the chance to see someone again. Don’t lose perspective. We all have our lives to live and so on. There’s so much in your life to value. And there’s probably things you wouldn’t even realise that people value about you.

So yeah, it’s been a bit of all things tonight. But there’s got to be someone out there who can grasp what I’m trying to say. Drifting away from this a little bit here’s a little update with me…

Maybe I’m getting somewhere, maybe I’m not?

Since more tests and investigations, the mystery continues. I kinda had a feeling this was going to happen anyway. All of my tests are complete. The kidney and bladder scan came back normal (so the receptionist said) yay! Just one more appointment to go before holiday now. And that’s something I really can’t wait for. To just relax and not have to worry about a thing. I’ve been referred to the hospital in June once I’m back though. And I can guarantee they’ll think my body is a mystery too! But they have to keep searching I guess. Staying happy is the main thing. I better try to keep at it…