young man walking over the bridge

You Shouldn’t Hold Your Feelings Inside

Why do so many of us hold our feelings inside? A lot of people think we feel with our hearts and think with our minds which is true for the most part. But what about when you let your mind control how you feel? We are so quick to judge someone before we know what they are going through – perhaps they don’t ever tell you. Is this why we can refuse to open up about our own feelings?

I think we need a world with more empathy. People should be able to speak up about what they’re experiencing with the thought of them not having it has hard as somebody else. We all suffer in some kind of way at least once in our life whether it be grief, relationships, battling your own mind just to name a few.

So why shouldn’t you hold your feelings inside?

When you think about how of us are on the planet, don’t you think it’s shame we live in a world where people can’t open up, to share experiences, understand each other, and most of all to try and help each other or be there for one another?

When I cry, there’s only a handful of people that know what to do. Most expect me to be smiley all the time because I don’t overly share what’s going on, only when it gets tough. And for me that’s works. For others too, privacy is important and only letting people in when they let you in, works fair in my eyes. But it’s so important that when someone is there for you 1000% not to shut them out. Especially when they’re always making an effort with you. Otherwise you’ll only end up pushing them away and loneliness is the last thing you want.

No matter how perfect you might think someone’s got it, the likeliness is that, they will continue to be there for you. They might have or might not have experienced the same thing. But it doesn’t mean they can’t listen. If something is dragging you down more than it ever has before or more than it should, speak to someone. Whoever that person might be – your friend, parent, grandparent, work colleague, doctor, counsellor – talk to them.

You’ll be surprised how often people underestimate the power of a small chat. It’s not supposed to ‘fix’ things magically but it helps. If gives you a sense of acceptance and gives you an insight that you never seen before to deal with the pain you’re feeling.

You, me, the queen, celebrities, all of us, are human.

Listening to someone is one of the kindest things you can do. And for people on the other side, don’t sit there and think, “They don’t want to or won’t listen to this.” There are people in the world with a heart you know. When they realise that you’ve been battling your own thoughts so much is something that would probably hurt them too.

The reality is some days/weeks/months/years will be tougher than others. When you lose someone close to you, the healing process isn’t something that can be measured for each person. We’re all different and cope in our own ways. Memories are so precious. Always hold onto them.

The other day I visited my granny and grandad at the cemetery and I cried for the first time in years. Getting older can make you stronger, it doesn’t mean to say that because you cry you’re weak. Others might ask themselves why I cried when it’s been over 17 years for one of them. That’s because your heart never lets go of love. I wouldn’t just shut off my feelings towards them because they’re not here, it’s not how life works. I like to know that I can talk about them any time I want with my boyfriend and talk about memories with mum, dad and my brothers.

There will be times when everything will get on top of each other.

When a certain amount of time passes by you’ve started to learn how to deal with a situation… then life happens. Since my uncle passed away this year I’ve realised that losing another family member doesn’t make it easier. You still grieve. You’ll cry when you don’t want to. But you soon realise that it’s okay and that you shouldn’t apologise when these things happen in front of people. If we held those feelings inside we would have an outburst one day and it’s a whole lot healthier to let your tears out.

If you’re someone who is going through some stuff right now that doesn’t seem ‘serious enough’ to talk about, if it’s getting you down then it’s important. Don’t think you’re going to be a burden to someone. Open up to someone and you might just see a new perspective.

cloudy sky during the daytime

Worrying Over the Little Things

Ah, worrying over the little things is more common with people than you think. I like to think I’m a lot more in control of my worrying mind nowadays and that my ridiculously worrying days are over. For the most part that’s true but there are still small parts of me where the worrier in me remains. Maybe not always ‘worry’ but a constant wonder, you know?

Take the things that haven’t even happened yet. I get a sense of fear when thinking about seeing certain people in a sudden situation. Or, I still hold onto the wonder of what someone thinks of me if they see me. It’s weird because I know damn right that the person on the other side wouldn’t even have a care in the world.

Here’s what I (and you if you’re in the same boat) need to remember…

  1. There are amazing things happening in your life right now, try to spend more time focusing on those.
  2. Time spent worrying is often time wasted. Use your time wisely and think about the happiest things in your life.
  3. Whenever something’s getting to you (even though it probably shouldn’t), talk to someone because it will help.
  4. You can always write about your thoughts, just like me. Writing definitely is my therapy as it helps me to release what’s on my mind.
  5. Whenever you figure out the small triggers of your worry, try to distance yourself from them without giving them too much attention.

Living with your boyfriend/girlfriend can help to reduce the worrying thoughts

Living with your partner can help to reduce the negative thoughts and wonder going through your mind. They want you to be happy so don’t forget how lucky you are to have a home together and to cherish their company with every chance you get.

Hold onto the closest people in your life, they’ll always help you to see the brighter side to life, no matter what’s going on. A short and sweet post but something to think about, right?

I hope this post helps you if you’ve been worrying about the little things.

low-angle photo of smiley face balloons

Don’t Let Other People Control Your Happiness

It’s time to start putting more effort into my own happiness. It wasn’t so long ago that I thought I was better at letting things go.

Crying isn’t always a bad thing. But surely too much of it can’t be healthy? That’s what I’ve discovered over the last few weeks. People can have an impact on your emotions and they don’t even know it. Perhaps their actions aren’t always intentional but at the same time, they’re just not needed.

What am I going to do about it?

I need to like being myself, which I’m not completely so far away from. But if I could just get rid of this one thing that bugs me more than anything, its people’s opinions, their need to get involved an overwhelming amount or the inappropriate comments and gestures. People close to me advise me to ignore them. That’s where I’m weak. I struggle so much to try to put things to the back of my mind. And when I eventually do, something else pops up.

It’s down to me. For things to change, I need to focus on the more meaningful things in life. There are tonnes of things to smile about and to be thankful for. I’m not going to lose sight of myself trying to please others. Sometimes, it’s about speaking up and being brave.

Think about this too…

You can lose followers on social media but you shouldn’t let this impact your value. And you can have people who you drift anyway from that were your ‘mates’ or ‘friends’. Some of these people come into your life for a reason. Some friendships slip away, meanwhile others can stay forever. It doesn’t matter about the number of friends you have. What matters is, who they truly are. The truth is, I think we’re all worth more than we realise. It’s when you discover who you really are that leads you to believing how important your happiness is.

Am I really lonely? My parents do what they can to support me. My big brothers have always got my back. And I have the most amazing human being (Danny) by my side in all that I do. Surrounding yourself with the ones who love you is much better than being round a hundred people who might not believe in you or value who you really are.

A new adventure is right around the corner.

I keep telling myself, “It’s not long now.” Me and Danny are waiting for those two weeks notice or whatever it’ll end up being to notify us when our home will be ready for us. I’ve visioned not only the day but everything leading up to this moment for so long. In fact, we both have. This is our journey. We’re going to travel on it in no other way but ours.

Now, the next time you find yourself becoming so lost in your emotions, fighting against other people’s matters or say, remember what you should really be focusing on. Tell yourself a million times. I should know, I’m constantly sending myself the reminder. If you do feel like you’re falling down again, go to your happy place.

Don’t let other people control your happiness, create your own kind of happiness.

knife and fork on sad face plate

3 Things to Remember When You’re Feeling Frustrated

It’s creeping back, that cloud of feeling frustrated by lots of little things. Rather than being angry I seem more upset. It’s as if working myself up to be annoyed is too much so I just cry and wish people would hold back. Why’s it so difficult for people to do that? Unfortunately we all know that’s not the case. Everybody has to comment on something and it’s so bloody annoying. But life is sometimes, isn’t it?

I’m listening to ‘September Song’ by JP Cooper to chill me out and I think it’s working you know it’s led me to write this blog. Listening to music and blogging really relaxes me. It’s quite therapeutic actually. As amazing as it would be to live a life which isn’t surrounded by judgements and assumptions, the reality is that, there always going to be there.

Throughout any kind of frustration in your life remember these 3 things:

1. Don’t take it out on the wrong person

You can let your emotions get the best of you. Rather than letting the ones who love you and care listen, you take your frustration out on them. Don’t worry, it’s something we’ve all done at some point. Once you realise that you’re hurting the wrong person, you find other ways to revert back to the happier version of yourself before you worried about what anybody says.

2. Just keep being you and do what makes you happy

Okay so now I’m listening to ‘Who You Are’ by Jessie J. She tells us that it’s okay not to be okay. But throughout anything, it’s important to “be true to who you are”. Let’s not allow others ruin our happiness. If you’ve got something good going for you, be proud and keep moving forward. Nothing and no one is perfect but you can have your own kind of perfect. And you deserve to be happy so keep at it.

3. Sometimes it’s best to be in your own company

Listen to music, go for a walk, watch a nice or funny film, find something that works for you. The worst thing you can do though, is to be alone and sit in complete silence in a bundle of worrying thoughts. Find something to concentrate on or something to distract you from feeling frustrated. And yes you guessed it, music and blogging helps with on this one as well.

It can drain you to the point where you become so upset so it’s important to find the things that work for you. What are the 3 things that help you when you’re feeling frustrated?