Would You Rather Meet Someone’s Expectations Or Go Beyond Them?

Do you ever feel like you need to meet someone’s expectations? It’s crazy how we live in a world like this. Some people are brought up having to achieve certain grades and milestones to make their parents proud. My childhood was always about doing my best and if great results followed that was just a bonus. The main thing my parents wanted was for me to play, make friends, and learn new things in the process. But there have still been times where I feel like I disappointed them. It’s something we go through even as we get older.

The growing up stage

Growing up you learn that some friendships are forever and some drift away. And that’s okay. You’re still continuing to learn… you always are no matter no age. Facing the fear of not meeting someone’s expectations will worry you. Why? Because you’re afraid they’ll think less of you, or take away your feeling of being ‘good enough’.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve punished myself for not doing as well in something as I thought I would. Sometimes it’s about making more effort and a whole lot of hard work. But not always. At times, you’ve done all you can and it is what it is. As much of a challenge as it’s been, choosing to go on my own path had led me to the best things in life.

The 3 things that have brought out the best happiness in me are:

  • Sticking to my passion for media and writing throughout primary school (writing stories), high school (beginning a media studies qualification) and continuing with that in college and university. It led me to the job I’m in today which I wouldn’t have got with sticking to my dreams and working hard.
  • Doing things to remember the ones I’ve loved and lost. I’m glad that grandad has his name with granny on their plot. Having his name on there is so important to me. Completing the Great Manchester Run in memory of him was one of the most emotional rollercoasters. And it was one of my biggest accomplishments. I’ve also created my fundraising own event to raise awareness of premature babies, still births, and baby loss for Tommy’s. You might have seen my mum’s story about her experience of a still birth.
  • Being in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend who’s so much more than a ‘boyfriend’ – he’s my best friend. Everything I see in my future is with him. He gets frustrated with some of my insecurities and worries because he wishes I’d see what he does. Having someone who sees nothing but the best in you regardless of your flaws releases an amazing feeling.

It goes to show that you can go beyond your own expectations of yourself

Be proud of yourself. There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in what you do. I’ve probably told you several times that life is living. Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do and plan how/when you can do them. If being happy means you need to remove yourself from environments that drown you in misery then leave. Ask for help if you’re struggling. Surround yourself with positive people and a positive mind will follow.

The key message is, everyone struggles in some way or another. Have more faith in yourself and you’ll see that more things seem possible rather than impossible.

So what do you prefer to do – meet someone’s expectations or choose your own goals and choices? I’d love to know what you think. Comment below or tell me via Tasha Lifestyle on Twitter.

Do Things for You in Your Own Time and in Your Own Way

I’ve realise that a lot of my thoughts today are coming out pretty randomly. You know when you think things in your head and you’re like I’m going to share that with the world? Or is that just me? Well let’s take example…

I mean, am I right?! Then the thoughts got more serious which brings to this post about why you should do things for you and find your own way.

Always remember where you come from

Anyway more to the point, another thought came into my mind today, a more serious one. Why do we feel so pressured by society, by others around us to do things in a particular order, by a certain age, and feel the need to ‘have it all’?

I’m 24 years old. I’m a young woman who has grew up on council estate ever since the day I brought home from the hospital as a baby. I don’t live in my dream city in the world but that doesn’t mean to say I’m ashamed of where I’ve come from. I’ll never try to be bigger or better than the person I am deep down.

One of my brothers always likes to joke around saying I’m ‘posh’ if I say words in a different accent to him. But he knows I’m truly the girl from her home city. One day I’m going to move out (next year). And I’ll be calling what’s home now mum and dad’s. But just as they say to my older brothers, this will always be our home.

Finding a real love for writing

I got my degree at the age of 21. I could’ve got it at 40 or not at all, I like to think I’d still be proud at wherever I was in life. In fact, I know I would be. It’s important to find your passion and work hard towards something. But not everyone knows what that is for them. It wasn’t until 3 years ago when I shared my first blog post about happiness and aspirations that I realised what my ‘thing’ was. And it was and still is a love for writing.

Writing stories in primary school and high school was nothing compared to those essays in college and university. Wow they were a different kind. But I realised that my love for writing wasn’t all about the evaluations on the subject I studied or dissertation topics. I didn’t even get the grade I wanted at university. But I accomplished something new which was very hard-working and quite difficult not to get down at.

You’ll have people tell you all sorts but keep doing what you believe is right for you

It was during and after university where one of the biggest challenges approached me. I felt like I always getting things wrong. Making the wrong decisions. Feeling terribly anxious. And reading into every little detail about not only studies but life in general. It hasn’t been until this past year that I’ve really found myself.

After feeling worthless, not because of the people around me but the lack of opportunities in the employment world. Turns out that I wasn’t getting things wrong. Even with people telling me that I need to get a move on or the looking like a waste of space to others. I was finding myself and finding the right way to go for me, not for anybody else.

Living for the moment

I’ve always believed in travelling on my own path. And part of that is living. We’re not just on this earth to exist, work, and pay things. We’re alive so we should be living. Some will say but I can’t afford it or I’d love to do that. Well why can’t you?

For some people, it can be possible. If you do things the right way you can do so many things. Take me for instance – saving for a house doesn’t stop me having fun. My priorities are in order but I still see my friends. Sometimes we stay in. Sometimes we go out. I still love to travel, it gives me something to look forward to. Some people have children and other commitments. And one day I’d hope to have those. But right now I’m living to take opportunities while I can.

The future can be scary but it can also be amazing

You can’t predict the future. And you can’t go back in time. But you can always make tomorrow a better day. That’s the motivation I try to wake up with each morning. I’m happy to see that I’ve killed a lot of my fears away. Some big and some small. But they’ve all counted in making me who I am today.

The biggest fears and challenges, the negative what ifs, can test you so much. What if you  put your all into something, do something great, and become closer to reaching new moments you never thought you’d have? That sounds much better, right?

As for the future, I plan to continue to remember what it means to have each day. Take the people who we always say we ‘lost too soon’. What are the things they would’ve loved to have seen you do, or that they never had the chance to do? Make a difference. Smile. And carry on being you.

Life Lessons Learnt in 2017

What lessons have you learnt this year? Yep, that’s another year that’s nearly over and done with again. I used to think I couldn’t quite believe it but then there comes a time when you realise how fast time can go. And you learn that time is so precious. One of my biggest goals for 2017 was a personal one – to worry less. Sounds much simpler written down, doesn’t it? I’d be lying if I said that I had fully achieved this. However, one thing is for sure, I’ve done my best to maintain a balance of positive thinking.

What I aimed for in 2017

Remember I told you that I wanted to get more active this year, as well as thinking a lot more positive? For the first part I really surprised myself. I didn’t become a fitness maniac but I conquered my gym fears and did all of the things I felt comfortable doing in order to increase my exercise activity. This hasn’t been everyday and this month it hasn’t even been at all. But I certainly do feel better once I partake in exercise. It boosts your mood and makes you feel stronger and fitter at the same time.

Taking a different perspective

As for the worry side. That’s always been a big part of me, it’s always been in my nature to worry. However, I started to learn to handle things differently. It was time to stop worrying about others so much and start to realise the impact it has on me. Especially a young woman with migraines and high blood pressure (which I’m hoping will go away in the new year).

Sometimes, I actually wonder why I’ve made myself so crazy. It’s mad. Running round in circles thinking what if, this or that… absolutely pointless. You only end up putting yourself on a downer when actually, you should be nothing but happy to move towards the future and live your life. Just the other night I was out with my two friends for Boxing Day. Truth be told we all got very merry and had a great night, especially me! I woke up thinking, oh no, me again. But then I thought, you know what when you’re out with friends, these things don’t matter. Another little thing I stopped myself from looming over.

Happiness is the most important thing

We just need to get a move on now and hope that more of our dreams start to come true in 2018. I’m sure I’ll share any new experiences that we face with you all. We really hoped to have moved out but that’s now of the things we know will be worth the wait. We’ll keep on saving and it will eventually happen. I do believe that.

Have you accomplished anything new this year?

The Power of Strengths and Weaknesses

Today I’ve been thinking about what to write. What do I want to share that’s new, something I haven’t done before? That’s when strengths and weaknesses come into my mind. We all have them so it’s a topic for anyone to discuss about how they feel about theirs. Sometimes, no matter how hard you want to try to get rid of a weakness, it isn’t always possible. But you can help yourself by working on ways to overcome particular situations or doing something less.

We all have a weak side

Take me for instance, if you didn’t know already, I’ve always been a massive worrier. That’s my biggest weakness. I’ve realised more than ever this year though just how pointless it can be to worry about things. You think you’re right to at the time then you realise it isn’t relevant or you didn’t have anything to worry about from the start.

Like I’ve said before, it can help to have someone there to show you how strong you can be.

He has given me the most amazing adventure and it’s only been a small part of the rest of our lives together. No matter how many insecurities I’ve had, no matter what weaknesses or downfalls I have, he’s there.

Other times, it’s up to you to decide how strong you can really be. Think of all of the great things you’ve accomplished. Even if it hasn’t been your day, month, or year, there’s got to be something. Earlier this year I felt like giving up. Facing unemployment or unhappiness in the workplace takes a serious toll on so many things in your life that others don’t always realise. However, once I began to believe in myself and that the right job for me would come along, it’s one of the biggest strengths I’ve ever had.

And then we have our strong side to show

March was when it all began to crumble. I began to feel worthless but ever since May this year something changed me as a person and my attitude to everything. Seven months later, I can say that I feel like I’m moving forward. All of your past experiences and choices make you who you are today and I’m proud of where I am. Securing a new permanent position was my most-needed goal for 2017. I’m happy, I’m respected, and growing up has become a whole lot more real. And it’s probably going to become surreal when more goals for the future are accomplished.

Take moving out for example, that was my most-wanted goal for 2017. Although me and Danny haven’t yet got our own place, we understand now that we are on a better path in getting there. Saving is under way and we keep imagining what our lives will be like together in our own home. We have more of an understanding of what it takes to meet that goal and are giving ourselves as much time as it needs in order to happen. That’s another key strength of mine that I like to have – patience.

It’s all down to you, just remember that we all have strengths and weaknesses

I think it can take a lot of persistence, patience, and believing in yourself to get through any kind of year. Remember that you can dream big but you can’t have it all. You might see that some people do ‘have it all’ but you start to realise what’s important in your life. And your life is what matters the most. No matter what your strengths and weaknesses are, you can make things happen.

How Patience and Persistence Helps You

Let’s talk about how patience helps you. And how persistence can help too. In July 2015 I wrote a post about aspirations and happiness. I said it then and I still believe now it now more than ever. You may wonder what I’m referring to… and that’s patience and persistence. These are two of the things which are key to maintaining happiness. And holding onto that happiness can lead to a happy future.

Since then, I’ve been down but I got back up again. Living in a frequent shadow of fear. Not feeling my worth. Worrying what if… it was all part of the experience. I went through a stage where I felt worthless, especially when I was unemployed for longer than expected. But these things go to show us that life isn’t always what you expect it to be like.

The persistence side

I used to dread being asked the question, ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ I don’t know do I?! Nevertheless I remembered the importance of persistence. Today I know where I see myself. Maybe it’s not exact but what I imagine the future to be like is close enough for now.

I (hope) to see a woman who’s more confident than she’s ever been. A woman who continues to follow everything that she believes in. She travels so far down the path, she finally can’t believe how far she’s come. I’ll see that while some fly or run, others walk. That’s exactly how I see it.

There’s nothing stopping me from flying but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it just takes longer for you. You’ll have your time. And when it happens you’ll really know. I think I’m experiencing mine with a great organisation. I’ve embarked on a wonderful journey. New people who have opened new perceptions and new horizons. All I want to do is progress further on this journey and continue to learn new things.

Patience has helped me to see things differently

It’s helped me to find myself; a more relaxed version of me. A young woman who doesn’t worry about looking flawless for work. You know why? She wants to work. It’s more about being happy with the environment and then everything else follows.

When you’re happy, truly happy, it affects everything. The same goes for when you’re feeling down. You either send yourself into a downfall dungeon or to the highest of happy. And sometimes, you can feel like you’re in between.

Mum always tells me to walk, hold my head up high and breathe. I really do recommend this. Once you walk and look forward, you’re bettering your inner health as well as the outer perspectives of what surrounds you.

Now put persistence and patience together

The importance of keeping your persistence and patience that I mentioned last time really does pay off. Some of the best things happen when you least expect them to. Especially when you feel a lower sense of faith in yourself. Take this morning for instance, I woke up to an email to say I’m on Feedspot’s Top 100 UK Lifestyle Blogs.

It’s down to you to have more faith in yourself. Where do you want your future to take you? List 3 things and set yourself a goal. I know that you can do at least one of things. The biggest lesson that I’ve learnt in the past two years is to be myself. I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. I am comfortable within myself. I’m still working on some parts. But that’s one of the things on my list of things to achieve.

Throughout it all, no matter what challenges arise, I know what my forever is. It’s Danny. It helps me to keep believing in patience and persistence.

Let’s Talk Perfection, Dreams, and Challenges

We all have dreams. No one on this earth knows how to always have it all together, even if it seems like they do. Of course, there will be times when there are people who are more confident, seem very sure about a situation, feel ready etc. when deep down, life can throw anything at us. It’s more about how we respond.

Likewise, beauty is a term which everyone sees differently. Our perceptions are what make the world the place that it is. Less judgemental gestures and enjoying life is what I believe in. Remember that you deserve to be happy despite any flaws and faults.

We may fall of track but remember to find yourself but don’t lose yourself.

No dream is too big

You can dream as big as you want. You can aspire to whatever you want to be. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean you failed. It shows that you have the strength and determination to live to the full, and your thoughts are full of colour and creativity.

Take it from someone who’s been knocked down – you will get to where you want to be. You might have imagined it differently – perhaps not the exact people or place, but you’ll realise where your happiness lies.

Even when you’ve jumped massive leap, don’t stop dreaming. I’ll always think of new things I can attain. Having goals helps me look forward to the future, rather than being the less courageous person I used to be.

Don’t let a challenge weaken you

Do you think there’s an obstacle in your life right now? Think again… you can fly higher than you think and you can run longer than you think.

By this I mean, opportunities are always available and there are always different ways to approach a challenging situation; if you carry on, whether you finish first or last, it doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that you want to be a part of the world that participates to grow stronger.

Some challenges can keep us on our toes.

A little something to add – we all live in this world together. A little smile along with a few kind gestures can go a long way.

What three things do you feel strongly about?