macbook, paperclips and strawberry drink with straw

Would You Rather Meet Someone’s Expectations Or Go Beyond Them?

Do you ever feel like you need to meet someone’s expectations? It’s crazy how we live in a world like this. Some people are brought up having to achieve certain grades and milestones to make their parents proud.

My childhood was always about doing my best and if great results followed that was just a bonus. The main thing my parents wanted was for me to play, make friends, and learn new things in the process. But there have still been times where I feel like I disappointed them. It’s something we go through even as we get older.

The growing up stage

Growing up you learn that some friendships are forever and some drift away. And that’s okay. You’re still continuing to learn… you always are no matter no age. Facing the fear of not meeting someone’s expectations will worry you. Why? Because you’re afraid they’ll think less of you, or take away your feeling of being ‘good enough’.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve punished myself for not doing as well in something as I thought I would. Sometimes it’s about making more effort and a whole lot of hard work. But not always. At times, you’ve done all you can and it is what it is. As much of a challenge as it’s been, choosing to go on my own path had led me to the best things in life.

The 3 things that have brought out the best happiness in me are:

Sticking to my passion for media and writing

Throughout primary school (writing stories), high school (beginning a media studies qualification) and continuing with that in college and university. It led me to the job I’m in today which I wouldn’t have got with sticking to my dreams and working hard.

Doing things to remember the ones I’ve loved and lost

I’m glad that grandad has his name with granny on their plot. Having his name on there is so important to me. Completing the Great Manchester Run in memory of him was one of the most emotional rollercoasters. And it was one of my biggest accomplishments. I’ve also created my fundraising own event to raise awareness of premature babies, still births, and baby loss for Tommy’s. You might have seen my mum’s story about her experience of a still birth.

Being in a long-term relationship with my boyfriend who’s so much more than a ‘boyfriend’ – he’s my best friend.

Everything I see in my future is with him. He gets frustrated with some of my insecurities and worries because he wishes I’d see what he does. Having someone who sees nothing but the best in you regardless of your flaws releases an amazing feeling.

It goes to show that you can go beyond your own expectations of yourself.

Be proud of yourself. There’s nothing wrong with taking pride in what you do. I’ve probably told you several times that life is living. Make a list of all the things you’ve ever wanted to do and plan how/when you can do them. If being happy means you need to remove yourself from environments that drown you in misery then leave. Ask for help if you’re struggling. Surround yourself with positive people and a positive mind will follow.

The key message is, everyone struggles in some way or another.

Have more faith in yourself and you’ll see that more things seem possible rather than impossible. So what do you prefer to do – meet someone’s expectations or choose your own goals and choices? I’d love to know what you think. Comment below or tell me via Tasha Lifestyle on Twitter.

Do Things for You in Your Own Time and in Your Own Way

I’ve realise that a lot of my thoughts today are coming out pretty randomly. You know when you think things in your head and you’re like I’m going to share that with the world? Or is that just me? Well let’s take example…

I mean, am I right?! Then the thoughts got more serious which brings to this post about why you should do things for you and find your own way.

Always remember where you come from.

Anyway more to the point, another thought came into my mind today, a more serious one. Why do we feel so pressured by society, by others around us to do things in a particular order, by a certain age, and feel the need to ‘have it all’?

I’m 24 years old. I’m a young woman who has grew up on council estate ever since the day I brought home from the hospital as a baby. I don’t live in my dream city in the world but that doesn’t mean to say I’m ashamed of where I’ve come from. I’ll never try to be bigger or better than the person I am deep down.

One of my brothers always likes to joke around saying I’m ‘posh’ if I say words in a different accent to him. But he knows I’m truly the girl from her home city. One day I’m going to move out (next year). And I’ll be calling what’s home now mum and dad’s. But just as they say to my older brothers, this will always be our home.

Finding a real love for writing.

I got my degree at the age of 21. I could’ve got it at 40 or not at all, I like to think I’d still be proud at wherever I was in life. In fact, I know I would be. It’s important to find your passion and work hard towards something. But not everyone knows what that is for them. It wasn’t until 3 years ago when I shared my first blog post about happiness and aspirations that I realised what my ‘thing’ was. And it was and still is a love for writing.

Writing stories in primary school and high school was nothing compared to those essays in college and university. Wow they were a different kind. But I realised that my love for writing wasn’t all about the evaluations on the subject I studied or dissertation topics. I didn’t even get the grade I wanted at university. But I accomplished something new which was very hard-working and quite difficult not to get down at.

You’ll have people tell you all sorts but keep doing what you believe is right for you.

It was during and after university where one of the biggest challenges approached me. I felt like I always getting things wrong. Making the wrong decisions. Feeling terribly anxious. And reading into every little detail about not only studies but life in general. It hasn’t been until this past year that I’ve really found myself.

After feeling worthless, not because of the people around me but the lack of opportunities in the employment world. Turns out that I wasn’t getting things wrong. Even with people telling me that I need to get a move on or the looking like a waste of space to others. I was finding myself and finding the right way to go for me, not for anybody else.

background shot of girl with blond pony tail

Living for the moment…

I’ve always believed in travelling on my own path. And part of that is living. We’re not just on this earth to exist, work, and pay things. We’re alive so we should be living. Some will say but I can’t afford it or I’d love to do that. Well why can’t you?

For some people, it can be possible. If you do things the right way you can do so many things. Take me for instance – saving for a house doesn’t stop me having fun. My priorities are in order but I still see my friends. Sometimes we stay in. Sometimes we go out. I still love to travel, it gives me something to look forward to. Some people have children and other commitments. And one day I’d hope to have those. But right now I’m living to take opportunities while I can.

The future can be scary but it can also be amazing.

You can’t predict the future. And you can’t go back in time. But you can always make tomorrow a better day. That’s the motivation I try to wake up with each morning. I’m happy to see that I’ve killed a lot of my fears away. Some big and some small. But they’ve all counted in making me who I am today.

The biggest fears and challenges, the negative what ifs, can test you so much. What if you  put your all into something, do something great, and become closer to reaching new moments you never thought you’d have? That sounds much better, right?

As for the future, I plan to continue to remember what it means to have each day. Take the people who we always say we ‘lost too soon’. What are the things they would’ve loved to have seen you do, or that they never had the chance to do? Make a difference. Smile. And carry on being you.

How Patience and Persistence Helps You

Let’s talk about how patience helps you. And how persistence can help too. In July 2015 I wrote a post about aspirations and happiness. I said it then and I still believe now it now more than ever. You may wonder what I’m referring to… and that’s patience and persistence. These are two of the things which are key to maintaining happiness. And holding onto that happiness can lead to a happy future.

Since then, I’ve been down but I got back up again. Living in a frequent shadow of fear. Not feeling my worth. Worrying what if… it was all part of the experience. I went through a stage where I felt worthless, especially when I was unemployed for longer than expected. But these things go to show us that life isn’t always what you expect it to be like.

The persistence side

I used to dread being asked the question, ‘Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ I don’t know do I?! Nevertheless I remembered the importance of persistence. Today I know where I see myself. Maybe it’s not exact but what I imagine the future to be like is close enough for now.

I (hope) to see a woman who’s more confident than she’s ever been. A woman who continues to follow everything that she believes in. She travels so far down the path, she finally can’t believe how far she’s come. I’ll see that while some fly or run, others walk. That’s exactly how I see it.

There’s nothing stopping me from flying but sometimes, no matter how hard you try, it just takes longer for you. You’ll have your time. And when it happens you’ll really know. I think I’m experiencing mine with a great organisation. I’ve embarked on a wonderful journey. New people who have opened new perceptions and new horizons. All I want to do is progress further on this journey and continue to learn new things.

Patience has helped me to see things differently

It’s helped me to find myself; a more relaxed version of me. A young woman who doesn’t worry about looking flawless for work. You know why? She wants to work. It’s more about being happy with the environment and then everything else follows.

When you’re happy, truly happy, it affects everything. The same goes for when you’re feeling down. You either send yourself into a downfall dungeon or to the highest of happy. And sometimes, you can feel like you’re in between.

Mum always tells me to walk, hold my head up high and breathe. I really do recommend this. Once you walk and look forward, you’re bettering your inner health as well as the outer perspectives of what surrounds you.

Now put persistence and patience together

The importance of keeping your persistence and patience that I mentioned last time really does pay off. Some of the best things happen when you least expect them to. Especially when you feel a lower sense of faith in yourself. Take this morning for instance, I woke up to an email to say I’m on Feedspot’s Top 100 UK Lifestyle Blogs.

It’s down to you to have more faith in yourself. Where do you want your future to take you? List 3 things and set yourself a goal. I know that you can do at least one of things. The biggest lesson that I’ve learnt in the past two years is to be myself. I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. I am comfortable within myself. I’m still working on some parts. But that’s one of the things on my list of things to achieve.

Throughout it all, no matter what challenges arise, I know what my forever is. It’s Danny. It helps me to keep believing in patience and persistence.

Let’s Talk Perfection, Dreams, and Challenges

We all have dreams. No one on this earth knows how to always have it all together, even if it seems like they do. Of course, there will be times when there are people who are more confident, seem very sure about a situation, feel ready etc. when deep down, life can throw anything at us. It’s more about how we respond.

Likewise, beauty is a term which everyone sees differently. Our perceptions are what make the world the place that it is. Less judgemental gestures and enjoying life is what I believe in. Remember that you deserve to be happy despite any flaws and faults.

We may fall of track but remember to find yourself but don’t lose yourself.

No dream is too big

You can dream as big as you want. You can aspire to whatever you want to be. If it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean you failed. It shows that you have the strength and determination to live to the full, and your thoughts are full of colour and creativity.

Take it from someone who’s been knocked down – you will get to where you want to be. You might have imagined it differently – perhaps not the exact people or place, but you’ll realise where your happiness lies.

Even when you’ve jumped massive leap, don’t stop dreaming. I’ll always think of new things I can attain. Having goals helps me look forward to the future, rather than being the less courageous person I used to be.

Don’t let a challenge weaken you

Do you think there’s an obstacle in your life right now? Think again… you can fly higher than you think and you can run longer than you think.

By this I mean, opportunities are always available and there are always different ways to approach a challenging situation; if you carry on, whether you finish first or last, it doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that you want to be a part of the world that participates to grow stronger.

Some challenges can keep us on our toes.

A little something to add – we all live in this world together. A little smile along with a few kind gestures can go a long way.

The Reasons Why I Won’t Neglect Blogging

Blogging is one of my favourite things to do. Why would I ever want to neglect something I enjoy doing? It doesn’t harm anyone, it is therapeutic for me, and writing is something which I will always to do.

My boyfriend said to me:

When you start your new job tomorrow, don’t stop blogging, because it’s you.

This led me to think about why I blog. The reasons are below and there are probably many more.

I’m a person who likes to share my thoughts

I’ve enjoyed writing since the story writing days at primary school. As soon as I put a pen to paper, well pencil at first, I wanted to be a neat hand writer. And I wanted to tell an interesting story.

Back in nursery, I enjoyed being creative with paintings of The Three Little Pigs and Biff, Chip and Kipper. I have never mastered drawing. Who knows how I got a merit in my Art diploma at high school?

Book reviews were very enjoyable for me in school – books by Jacqueline Wilson like the Suitcase Kid and Double Act were my favourite. I always enjoyed writing about characters’ personalities.

I’m amazed by many things

It wasn’t until last year when I thought, why not right about my life and personality?

Films aren’t always real, nor are soap operas on television. But there is an element of reality. There can be a dramatic effect but it’s for our satisfaction as an audience.

With writing, I aim to share my thoughts, experiences, and perception on life. Most of all, to convey a message that we’re all human. We all live in the same world as I’ve said before. And I hope my blog is a place where you can read about a bit of everything. It focuses on everyday life with a mission to inspire at least one person with each blog post.

Writing in high school

I remember when there were times I had to write about an occasion in high school for creative writing projects. There was one significant story I wrote about – a child being brought into the world. The event was a christening. My English teacher wrote a lengthy comment on my work how I made her feel like I was there.

The truth is, I was there. And at the moments where I wasn’t, I tried my hardest to imagine how it would feel.

i also wrote a speech for both my granny (when I was seven-years-old) and grandad’s (when I was thirteen-years-old) funerals.

I have always been nervous delivering presentations throughout high school, college, and university. I never quite mastered my confidence with speaking in front of a large group of people. I’d be the person who researched and told everyone to be punctual.

I enjoy reading about other people’s stories – success stories, emotional breakthroughs, overcoming challenges – I enjoy reading them all. Since blogging, I’ve been more intrigued to read about other people’s stories. How did they get where they are today? I wonder what hobbies they like. Blogging is a community after all so it’s great to share our journeys and grow together within that same community.

Blogging helps you to explore inspiration and ideas

Sometimes, you think that you are writing paragraphs which sound like nonsense. When in fact, there’s somebody out there who is or has been in your shoes. What’s more, blogging is the reason I feel the need to read more. I find it very meaningful. It helps me to broaden perceptions and travel on a horizon of different thoughts.

It is particularly motivating when somebody has the strength to write about their biggest battle. Most have been too frightened to share it before now. But the blogging community is strong and supports other bloggers.

You see a lot of, How to… posts from bloggers. The advice and tips you receive can be great. But sometimes, blogging can be about doing it your own way. You don’t have to be a professional writer. There is no limit to how long your posts have to be. Anyone can tell a story. The gift of writing is something that puts you in the moment. Words can be so powerful.

It feels good when someone shares or comments on my posts. .

Blogging helps to develop a greater understanding

To be noticed in today’s society can be difficult. I’ve learnt to stand on my own two feet and to put myself out there. I wish I would have had a stronger perspective of this when I studied at university. But the main thing is that I made it to where I am today.

If I didn’t share my experiences and thoughts through blogging, I don’t think people would have understood my journey as much. Some people aren’t aware of how much of a deep thinker I am. Nor have they heard about different things I’ve seen and done. Blogging has become a huge part of me always helping to express myself.

We all start somewhere. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get where you want to be.