notepad coffee and roses on table

A Letter to the Me Who Worries

A letter to yourself, some people might think that’s kinda strange. But I don’t. I’ve seen a few recently and it inspired me to create one of my very own. This is a letter to myself, the version of my that worries. Worry seems to be a thing I can’t always balance. There are times when I think, “Yes! I’m feeling so good.” Then something seems to knock it all back down. So if you’re someone like me, please read this post until the very end.

Stop being so self-critical on your appearance.

The dry skin; spot; hair that really needs its highlights topping up; your weight; you’ve got a whole list haven’t you? People will tell you that you look okay. Your eyes might see something different than theirs but maybe you do look okay. Who says not looking okay means you need to have perfect skin or looking flawless day in and day out?

You feel bloated quite a lot. But don’t punish yourself by telling yourself that it’s ugly. Just because you’ve been ugly before, doesn’t mean that you are. When you do have that spare time though, take yourself to the hairdressers, a good pamper might just make you feel all the more wonderful.

Try to stop the little things getting in your way.

You can waste so much time battling thoughts in your head. Even when you think you’re in a place where you worry less about this, that, and everything, there’s something. At the back of your mind you feel a big anxious feeling. It’s horrible. No one else seems to get it. But you just want it to go away.

You can randomly wake up some mornings and you know it’s hit you. Try to show that feeling where to go! You’ve got to think that some of the things bothering you, wouldn’t bother others in the slightest. Be the person who carries on walking with their head up high regardless of what anyone says.

Stop getting caught up in things that don’t really matter – all of those little things that are your worries.

Time after time you’ve tried to explain what’s wrong and half of the time you’ve sounded so silly. Others have been genuine. But for the other parts, you spent a lot of time wondering. A whole lot of sadness it brought you. Do you remember?

Imagine what your granny and grandad would say to you. Probably something like,

Tasha! Come on. Pull yourself together.

Well granny being the tough one that is. Grandad would tell you, just like he did, that it’s okay to feel down sometimes. But he’d hate the idea of you being down about yourself. As difficult as it might be, try to let go, and enjoy everything you have.

Start living your life your way in the happy way.

See how we’ve got onto ‘start’ rather than ‘stop’? That’s because it’s time for you to start. You can carry on beating yourself up mentally. But you know just as much as others, it does no good whatsoever in several different ways. Start your day with more encouragement to yourself. Tell yourself you can do it, and if not, tell yourself you’ll learn how to and try your best.

Smile at every opportunity. Start doing your thing, rather than letting other people’s opinions, lives, and whatever get to you. Some people do this without realising. And you’ll realise that others’ lives aren’t always as perfect as they seem. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Just live. It’s what we’re all here to do. No matter how old you are, tell yourself you’ll make the most of life. And the big thing about this that others won’t see in the same way, it includes saying no. Turning something down or saying no doesn’t mean you aren’t making the most of something. It means you’re choosing what’s best for you at that given time. You’ll see a huge difference. Believe it and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

When you’re at the stage when you’re wondering what’s going on, remember why you started something. Try your best to leave those worries behind. If it’s still worth something today, keep at it. If it’s not, make a change. You’re in control. You’ve got this. And you will accomplish more than you ever imagined when you focus less on your worries.

How to Recognise Bullying in the Workplace

Sadly, bullying in the workplace is more common than you think. I hope that what I’m about to say will help someone out there who’s too afraid to speak up; to recognise what they are experiencing and remember that it’s okay to speak to someone about it.

There comes a point where being challenged becomes a whole new level. It tests your mental health and brings out a worry in you that you’ve never had before. You keep telling yourself it’s because you’re still new and that it’ll get better.

Nice gestures doesn’t balance out the actions/words of a bully

You’ve got to remember that just because someone has shown a nice gesture, it doesn’t mean to say that they aren’t capable of bullying someone. Bullying isn’t just actions, it also words.

Having been bullied before, you’d think I would see the signs. I thought that this is what the ‘big wide world’ of employment was like. You know, starting something new, settling in to a new environment, you’re bound to feel nervous. But the nerves turn into a big ball of fear you feel every morning as you approach the workplace.

For 6 months I tried and tried, to get knocked back down again. There were smiles on some days, but a small amount in comparison to the days I felt low. The final two months turned into silence where I felt exhausted from feeling like I couldn’t do things right or I was constantly being patronised.

Don’t let the bullying make you think you’re weak

I didn’t want to be branded as part of that ‘team’. Because in actual fact it wasn’t a team. Not a full one anyway. It felt more like we were the troops, or even better, the slaves.

My blood pressure was sky-high and my team leader was made fully aware. Not with the exact cause but surely it was something for them to bear in mind when I mentioned it as it gradually worsened during this employment. One day I needed an emergency dental appointment and I was being asked on the phone how I was going to make up for not being in work before I even got an appointment. So I used the remainder of my time owed.

My doctor warned me to take things easy. And I knew taking a couple of days of work wouldn’t be an option because the thought of the amount of work I’d have to catch up on terrified me. As a result of the worrying, my health was being damaged physically and emotionally. My migraines increased more than ever and I felt like my head was going to explode. My evenings and weekends weren’t spent enjoying a bit of ‘me’ time. It was more time for my mind to work overdrive.

The day came when frustration grew to silence and the silence eventually turned into tears. I’d never felt so low for something I’ve worked so hard at. And I wasn’t the only one.

Have you spoken to someone about bullying?

It was in that moment that somebody told me, “You need to speak to someone.” Some people think the comments you make just go away once you get home but they don’t. I wasn’t able to switch off. And that’s so damaging in more ways than you can imagine.

It tests your patience with everything including the important things like relationships, getting to sleep at night, eating properly, and even the simple things like having a bath/shower.

The smile just didn’t cut it for me anymore. I wasn’t my usual smiley self. I was frustrated at everything. It was at this point when I realised how important my health is.

Don’t let them brainwash you

When you finally decide to be strong, don’t let them fool you. When they ask, “Oh are you just saying this because ___ said it.” No. You see, that’s where me and you are completely different. Not because of your status, or the money you earn, or your lifestyle, I’m just true to myself and I am who I am.

I don’t bring up something so hurtful just to copy somebody else. The thing that’s worse is that I’m pretty sure you see what’s happening right in front of your eyes but you’re constantly trying to cover it up.

The amount of times I thought there was a nice meaningful conversation, was it all just sarcasm?

You can’t treat someone differently because they’re younger thank you, dress differently to you, have different interests etc. If you’re someone’s manager, then manage them. Make it a two-way street where you listen to each other and actually put methods into place. Value your employees.

A new chapter

I look back and see people who were scared to speak up, people who felt like they had to be someone else. Whereas, I stood up for myself and said exactly how I was made to feel. My role was soon coming to an end due to maternity cover and I knew that I needed the time to start a new adventure, to discover what’s really out there for me. Many judged my decision negatively. But if you knew the half of it, you would’ve escaped a lot sooner than I did.

No amount of words can explain how good it feels to be in the place I am today. I’m valued in a new team, at a new workplace. People here actually get to know things about me and take interest in my work and achievements outside of work.

There’s a much stronger work ethic and I look forward to growing and developing in everything that I do.

The message of the story is: bullying should not be ignored in any way whatsoever. It’ll never be right.

Anxiety Shouldn’t Change Who We Are

I’ve written this post to help raise awareness of anxiety for Spink Health’s campaign. Please note, this is not a gifted or sponsored collaboration.

Anxiety hits many of us. As we are all individuals, we deal with things in our own way. But what does the term ‘anxiety’ actually mean? People can often confuse the term with ‘stress’.

Here’s how Spink describe the difference between the two:

Review of HAPS SuperFruits+ Boosters

This is a gifted post in collaboration with HAPS. HAPS SuperFruits+ boosters launched on 28 February 2017. It gives your body a lift of particular supplements that aim to affect your psychological well-being and general prosperity. The superfruits boosters’ mix was deliberately chosen by a group of dietary specialists.

About HAPS and their superfruits boosters

HAPS enhances anybody’s general prosperity however is especially advantageous for individuals encountering low state of mind, stress, nervousness, regular full of feeling issue (SAD) or post-party blues. The main aim of HAPS is to ‘rehydrate, revitalise and improve mental wellbeing.’

The creators of HAPs recommend you to take one sachet per day, which is a serving of 9 grams. You can take HAPs when you feel like you need a boost. You simply add one sachet to 250ml of water, which can then be shaken or stirred.

The main benefits which have been taken from a HAPS press release are below:

  • Help regulate mood, appetite and sleep by naturally boosting serotonin
  • Improve your response to stress with vitamins B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, B12, C, D & Zinc
  • Support your immune system & skin health with superfruit Baobab
  • Stay alert throughout the day with sustained energy from Coconut healthy fats
  • Keep hydrated with added electrolytes to aid the flow of nutrients in the body

The founder of HAPS, Rik, tells us,

I’ve learnt so much studying the science of happiness and wellbeing.

Rik has seen the horrible effects that mental health has had on his mother, and himself after his mum having a spinal stroke, and his grandad sadly passing away. He simply wanted to take what he had learnt with science to create a product to help others feel happier.

My experience with HAPS

I contacted Rik for the opportunity to review this product as I thought it would be something that a lot of my readers would like to learn about. I see a lot of followers who suffer from mental health and you never know, a product like this could help them. Please make sure you check if you are able to consume this beforehand.

Appearance 

I received three sachets of HAPS, which was a generous amount to be given but the perfect amount to see whether the product had an effect on me in any kind of way. The sachets are bright yellow with the HAPS logo which immediately creates brand awareness, and bright yellow anything reminds me of the sun and happy things. There is also small print of the back of the product with ingredients and information.

Smell

Sometimes when you are using a sachet for a flavoured drink, you don’t always know what kind of scent to expect to come from it. However, with HAPS the SuperFruits booster smelt really nice. It definitely smelt fruity, and I particularly like it because I could smell a strong hint of pineapple.

Taste

With the scent being so strong, I did expect the taste to be a little bit stronger. However, it is still bearable to consume if you like the flavour. I’ve always loved pineapple so it’s a big hit when it comes to the taste for me. I also think that mango and pear taste really nice too so the combination goes well.

The ingredients are:

HAPS fruits (83%) Mango, Pear, Pineapple, Guava, Banana, Baobab (4%)
Coconut MCTs (11%), Griffonia Seed Extracts [5-HTP] (1%), Natural Flavours
Vitamin Mix [Vitamin C, Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Niacin (B3), Pantothenic Acid (B5)
Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Vitamin D, Zinc], Ionic Electrolytes (0.8%), Stevia

Overall thoughts

I was quite pleased with the product. However, I thought it would have had a bigger effect on my mood. It did help me in the mornings when I had the SuperFruits booster before the gym. I felt more active. It definitely helped me feel more motivated to run on the treadmill.

However, my emotions have been all over the place recently due to unemployment and trying to keep going. It’s having an effect on me where I don’t feel good about myself. I also tend to have nightmares frequently due to unknown reasons. And I can’t even begin to tell you how much I stress over the little things. But hey that’s another story.

HAPS SuperFruits boosters are anything but difficult to utilize and you should try it out if you are hoping to help your happiness and wellbeing.

Thank you to Rik for kindly giving me the chance to review this superfruit boosters product. Head over to the HAPS website today if you would like to hear more information about this product.

The Mind of a Worrier

I am definitely a worrier but I hope to work on that. Have you asked yourself ‘what if’ too many times? I have. It is okay to admit that you’re guilty of this. You’ve spent too much time worrying – and most the time you wonder why you ever did.

You’re bound to question things when you’re worried

And you are most certainly entitled to worry about something/someone you care about. So how do you overcome these thoughts that are overpowering your mind?

You’re letting your past control your life. This is not healthy and it certainly does not lead to a happy future. However, you can change that possibility. With a less fearless and anxious mind, you will feel slightly more at ease with life’s decisions and know how to tackle those challenges in a better way.

Consider the two questions listed below – put yourself into a situation in which you have worried about. Then, read the ideas which have been included and reflect on them in order to help you make a start with lowering your chances of an anxious mind.

You ask yourself, “Could I have done that better?”

Sometimes, you do not realise your potential and you have more intelligence than you think. However, of course, other occasions can be different. For example, perhaps you remember a more worthy answer after a job interview has already taken place.

Or maybe, you did not handle a situation very well. We have all experienced this. Nothing ever happens perfectly as perfect as it may seem from the eyes of others. If you are sorry for your actions then show remorse. If you feel you deserve another chance to prove your efforts and potential, then try to make your reasoning valued.

Today, look at yourself. Did you achieve those goals in the end? If so, do not be so hard on yourself. You’re achieving and you are going to be successful if you stay determined. On the other hand, if you dwell on something that you could have made better but did not, then you have to own up to that one. Your happiness often lies in your own hands.

You wonder what others think about you

Someone might not like you but why should their thoughts add distress to your life? People are going to make you look like a fool, more than once in your life. Your points may never be proved.

They know how to rattle you. Let them. It’s annoying isn’t it? But what’s more annoying is the fact that you have figured them out – and they know it. Regardless of whether people think you/they are right, you know the truth.

There’s two ways here, you are either lying to yourself; or they still look like the innocent one in the picture. That’s okay. You should carry on with your life and let them deal with their false perception and their false happy life that they are living.

Also, you may feel embarrassed about something. We have all experienced this too. In my eyes it’s normal – on certain levels of course. You’ve fallen off your chair in class. Or on a more serious note, you’ve felt weak when seeking advice from the totally wrong person. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Learn to maintain the strengths and work on your weaknesses.

A smile can hide so much about a worrier

You might think I am someone who is smiley and happy every day. Oh I do try to be. But there are days that bother me (75% probably should not). So, as I have figured that most are not worth the worry, I try to take a relaxed approach where possible. Now more than ever, I aim to focus on my emotions. I tell myself to think about my reactions and how to take positives from a situation wherever there are going to be negatives.

Of course, some of life’s events can challenge your attitude. Instead, you can try to defeat those silly thoughts. You don’t know how it’ll work out until you have tried different approaches first.