Let me take you through two parts of love in my life and the meaning of loving someone. I’ll begin with introducing you to part one.
When I was younger, to say I loved someone, was to say I love my parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins etc. I loved my pet rabbit, Snowy, and I loved Rex, Tyson, and Sheba (dogs in the family).
I used to love spinning around the roundabout in the play area of the park until I was dizzy. I loved to eat those pink and blue fizzy bottled sweets. I loved playing on the swings then telling my brothers to stop pushing me too high – until the day I became brave enough to go higher and feel free.
I loved playing shop with my grandparents, colouring in, and singing (terribly). Whenever anything went wrong at school, mum made my favourite foods and gave me the biggest hugs.
Writing, maths, being creative (because you can’t fail when it comes to being creative), and learning new languages have made me smile.
Growing up is a big thing. I was always told to stand up for myself – be myself and not follow a crowd to fit in. I couldn’t be more grateful for these values from my parents.
I was also told that I wasn’t old enough to understand things. Through being myself as much as possible, I have learnt the meaning behind many things.
I’ve also learnt that being myself is the best type of person I can be.
Sometimes I struggled to find myself. I know I was a little geeky at school, out of the popular crowd and wasn’t going to be accepted by some people. There was a lot of judgement. But hey, we are always judged at least one point in our lives. Don’t let a few more times hurt you.
Above all, the worst things in my childhood were losing people. I can honestly say that this list of people consists of only two people.
Life can show you how important some people really are. You meet new people through different stages in your life. But it’s the ones that you know you want to keep hold of that matter the most.
Through significant people in my life, I’ve learnt that I deserve to be happy but it’s also okay to cry when I need to. We all have something we can reflect on and someone we remember who we love so much.
I began to see different kinds of love. I wondered how it would feel to have someone love me as much as my parents do.
There will be heartbreak
I know that I have yet to experience the hardest thing I’ll ever go through in my life. Many of you will probably guess what that means – losing my parents. The people who have been in your life since day one.
These people have been through distressing, heartbreak, and many other mixture of emotions. We haven’t always agreed on everything. We’ve laughed and we’ve cried, sang and danced. Most of all, we have loved each other. I might not see my brothers every day and I won’t see my parents every day when it comes to the day that I move out. Nevertheless, I will always love them.
Everything we’ve been through makes me realise what it really means to love your family. We’ve taken different paths but we’ve stuck together through them.
A new chapter
A new chapter in my life began when I was a person who realised not only what it felt like to love someone but to fall in love.
A man became more significant in my life at the age of 18-years-old. More so than ever before. At the age of 16-years-old, I was afraid to accept things and quite naïve.
Imagine if he knew about my random outbursts of giddiness or what I really look like at my worst. I wish we would have been brave enough back then to take the step.
One night, I seen him for the first time in a while with a group of friends. We had been out as a group numerous times before but there was something different about this night.
I was experiencing this nerves, excitement, and a heart-racing feeling. When I saw him in the queue memories were floating back into my mind. I’ll never forget the night he carried me over puddles on Boxing Day 2012.
That day he said “Happy Valentine’s Day” to me (no one ever wished me a Happy Valentine’s), and singing My Girl to me on other occasions… I’ll always remember. Why didn’t I take my chance when he told me that he liked me on New Year’s Eve of 2010? I didn’t believe him, that’s why!
A new kind of love
Timet to believe things a little more and stop pushing my feelings aside.
You know that feeling when you pour your heart out to someone? I had watery eyes and spoke with all honesty of all the things I was scared of. This included the thought that he’d run away after two weeks! We laugh about that now.
After the biggest heart-to-heart, there was a moment which had been anticipated for a long, long time. He wiped my tear, looked at me and seconds later we kissed.
I’m pretty sure everyone was thinking WOO about time!
Ever since that day, Danny has seen me in all kinds of light and loved me equally in every single one. We have explored different destinations and points in our lives. He now sees how important his happiness is to me and has understood the times where I’ve been down.
No matter what anybody else has said about me he has been there. He doesn’t need to be in the same room as me to know something’s wrong. He remembers significant times of the year that are something special to me.
I’ve found someone to hold my hand. Someone who gives me their heart. I know that there won’t be an end. He has the biggest heart and smile I’ve ever had the happiness to be blessed with.
Keep them forever
He tells me, you’re beautiful, you’re strong. And when he says he’ll be there, he means it. When someone loves you for you, never let them go.
He’s my first and only person I’ll ever fall in love with. Now I can say that I know what it feels like to both love someone and to be in love.