You come into the world as a tiny baby. Months go by and you’re learning how to roll over, crawl, make your own kind of noises to communicate in your own language etc. More time goes by and you’re walking, and eventually you’re talking in actual words. Your parents don’t want you to grow up. You start off with nursery or primary school. By the time you know it you’re in high school. After then, everything really is down to you.
It’s up to you to make decisions for your future. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be the right or wrong ones. They’re your decisions and you’re going to make them. Mine was to attend college and university to study the subjects I was truly passionate about and wanted to do well in.
Did I love the whole college/uni experience? Nope. But I didn’t entirely hate them at the same time (okay maybe with college I did). A good thing though, was that I had quite a few friends at college. Completing college and uni was what I always wanted to do. I told myself to get to the end, for me and no-one else. I’m not on earth to prove myself to anyone, as hard as that can be at times to remember.
Wondering what’s going to happen next? Travel to wherever life takes you.
I remember finding out I was going to uni two weeks before the first term began. Those weeks of waiting really made me so anxious. The dread. The constant questions like, “So, what are you going to do with your life if you’re not getting into uni?” I was clueless – I didn’t have an idea in the slightest what was going to happen. Back then I wish I would’ve replied, “I’m going to do me.”
I guess by being me is what got be that place. There was some potential. The three years were… okay. I’m glad I met a friend who I still keep in touch with today. But I don’t think I got the entire ‘uni life’ experience. I walked in alone. And there was a lot around me that I didn’t enjoy. But I graduated so that’s something that can’t be taken away.
After this point, more challenges came my way. One, two, three, twenty-something interviews later to be where I am today. From a sales assistant from the age of 16 to a learning support administrator, marketing assistant, and now happily in the position of marketing coordinator and content writer.
So, I’m kind of stubborn…
Some say I’m stubborn and to be honest I can be. But I’m also just true to myself. When you’re told how/when/why/where you should do something, you stop to think, hang on a minute this is my life. So I’m going to live it my way. And I’m so glad I stuck to that. I didn’t get amazing college or uni results like what you see on the news. They always show the ones at the top of the class getting into the most famous and high up institutions. What about the rest of us eh?
There’s so much pressure in the world, we’re expected to achieve certain things to be valued as ‘intelligent’. I know there are certain areas that are my strongest. But I’ve also got my weakest just like everyone else.
Following the crowd has never been my style. I was bad at it and that’s because being like someone else isn’t what’s going to make you happy. Until you see you for who you are and focus on the things that make you happy, you’ll realise you’ll felt nothing like it. You look back and wish you would’ve had the courage to take certain steps sooner. But the important thing is that you got there in the end.
Talking steps independently…
I’m the type of person who likes to do a lot of things on my own without anyone holding my hand. If I went alone to get the coil fitted I can do anything, right? It’s funny, whenever Danny makes a comment I always say “It’s cos I’m an independent woman like Beyoncé!”
I walked into my first day of high school on my own being aware that only a couple of people from primary school would be there. I’d spent some dinners alone but that didn’t make me a ‘loner’. Some people knew who I was. And some didn’t. Some days my friends just had things going on. I faced bullies alone. I didn’t tell a soul. It took my brother to figure it out.
In primary school, on several occasions I would wait until I was alone in a room to cry my eyes out when granny passed away. I used to get the bus on my own up to visit grandad at the hospital. And to this day I’ll go to see them at the cemetery alone. But my dad or Danny do like to come along when they can. Dad knows to wait in the car for a while though. And Danny always gives me some time for just the 3 of us.
A lot of the time, I go shopping on my own. I take it upon myself to take myself for a walk! Sometimes I go to the gym alone and sometimes I don’t. It’s nice to have a mixture of both. Obviously when I need help or support, the people who love me most recognise when to step in.
Let the people who care for you be there for you.
Sometimes, I’m wrong to think I must have it all together on my own. If you’re lucky to have someone who wants to be there for you, don’t stop them, let them in. My person for that is someone who’s going to be in my life forever. Not just someone who’s in your life temporarily. I’ve learnt that keeping your friends group small is good for me. No drama. I see certain people as the ones I shared memories with. But it doesn’t matter that we’re not friends kind of friends, you know? It’s never going to be like that again and I’m fine with that.
Things happen. Life happens. Travel to wherever it takes you and follow the things that make you happy.