I’ve always known what contributes to my real happiness, my best friend, boyfriend, and family. They’re all my family. But there are other things that are important too – health and wellbeing especially. Stay positive and work hard – just like the candle has written on it that was bought for me as gift.
Money was decreasing and days were seeming longer. I felt useless. I felt ashamed. And most of all, I felt worthless. I didn’t know if I was lost, how long I was going to be there, or if my working life was always going to be a temporary measure.
Many people had said to me, you’ll recharge your batteries when you go on holiday and you’ll feel a lot more positive. The thing was, when a company was saying no, I knew it must not have been the right role for me, but at the same time I wondered if I had the persistence to keep going.
Daniel gives me the greatest happiness
My boyfriend had recently told me:
I don’t know anyone who has more persistence than you.
At the time, it should have made me feel good. But instead, I felt a sense of worry running through me. For the past few months I must have worried more than I ever have. And during holiday I relaxed and told myself, that it’s so much wasted energy when there are going to be more important things in life to be worried about.
I told myself that maybe I shouldn’t feel ashamed. I knew that I was heading in the right direction through previous achievements that I have accomplished. However, I just wanted to make my family proud. I hated the feeling of waking up in the morning and running out of things to do to stay active.
This was the most insightful interview I’ve ever had
Nerves were in place as you could imagine, but this particular morning, I had a burst of energy which pushed me to believe that no matter what happens I can say I had gone in there and gave it all that I could.
The ladies who lead the interview made me feel welcome and kept positive and attentive throughout the interview, just as I did. It was an interview where I was given the chance to present myself, my true self, with everything that I could offer and build knowledge in the future.
I thought the interview lasted just under an hour and I only expected to be in there for around 20 – 30 minutes. I wondered if this was a positive or negative, but I continued the happy vibe and said it means I could show all I could.
I called Daniel up immediately afterwards walking down the street smiling and telling him I really enjoyed that interview. To my surprise, they were pleased to offer me the post. Me! I was the right candidate.
Someone give me a chance
I’ve learn so much already and I cannot wait to see what the rest of my time here brings. I can honestly say that I feel elevated. Being placed in this role has made a huge impact on my mental and physical health already.
I’m feeling exciting to create new ideas and plans for the next day. There was a time where I feared walking into a workplace, triggering worry in all kinds of way. Worry is something that affects so many things in our lives that, some people wouldn’t even understand. It can test relationships, silence, have the ability to cause an unhealthy lifestyle, and most of all, try to change you.
A new beginning
Every day this week, I’ve woken up feeling fresh minded and had a forward thinking approach.
I’ve been able to see things from a different perspective. Meeting new people with disabilities that come to use our multi-sensory rooms makes you realise how each and every one of us are unique and the littlest things really can make us happy. Most of all, I’ve been to stop worrying about new people and wondering what they think of me. We are our person, and that what’s makes us special.
I feel accomplished in more ways than ever. I know for sure that I’m in my happy place. Working for a charity that is passionate about disability, makes me wonder how proud my grandad would have been. Whenever I’ve been asked what I want to be when I grow up, I never knew, I just knew I loved writing. Writing makes me feel happy, it’s so therapeutic for me, even discussing the hard times in life helps me to focus.
Writing this post and telling you about this achievement finally makes me feel proud of myself again.