Bullying is cruel. I am not saying this for the simple fact that it is. I have been bullied therefore, I have experienced the belittling world that it can be. Cyber bullying, verbal bullying or physical, they all count. People will not always admit that they are a bully and that is just more embarrassing for them. Under no circumstances should anyone feel that they have the right to bully another human being. Why would you wish to lower yourself that much?
You all share laughs and fun memories together. This is how it all starts out, right? Unfortunately, it does not always last. This is what I have learnt.
I was a 12-year-old girl, in my second year of high school. I attended high school in order to work hard to pass my GCSEs. It was great to meet the friends that came along the way. Although, the most important thing was to stay motivated and driven to my studies. I’ll admit, there were times where I wish I did not have such a big pile of homework or the day could have gone quicker. However, the one thing I hated the most was loneliness.
Bullying happening because you’re no longer ‘part of the group’
Have you ever felt so ‘part of the group’ and then suddenly so isolated? Maybe you haven’t. I have. You feel unreachable like some people do not even acknowledge your existence. You sit in class and wonder who is going to pick you to be a member in their group work. The other girls (the bullies) are in with the popular crowd now so, you stand no chance with them. There are fewer people left and you begin to feel anxious. I was not hated, let me make this clear.
I just did not have big friendships with every single member or each class I had to attend. Everyone knew who the ‘mean girls’ were from the ‘loners’. I always seen myself as being somewhere in between. But, it was completely different when it came to moments where I could not find my friend in class. Amongst this, there’s Physical Education. We all have to participate in order to be active. That’s the whole point. I rather enjoyed the physical activities that were available at my high school – both indoor and outdoor.
Though, mostly, the sports day and rounders were more thrilling for me. I never wanted to wear the little green shorts that were part of our PE uniform. I much preferred the joggers. They kept me warm and I simply did not want to show my legs off. You know the feeling, the other girls look so much prettier. Maybe it was make-up. Maybe it was my false perception from worry. But one thing was for sure, I was not going to let this stand in my way.
The uncomfortable feeling that being bullied gives you
I participated in all of the activities. I began to put aside their thoughts about me, no matter how negative and spiteful they were. I took a positive approach and that was to show them that it did not matter what they said or did to me anymore. Before now, my days would consist of walking round the school yard and they would make an appearance. Whenever my friends were in class, having extra support or in school this particular day, they would target me. Never alone though. They only had the confidence to target me as a three, never on their own.
Pretty cowardly, don’t you think? Three is a crowd after all and can be quite intimidating to one singular person. Especially when this person was as vulnerable and weak as I was.
I think you’re the weak ones
I would share my thoughts with my friends, I was a happy person. However, I did not always discuss to my friends, the opportunities in which these girls had to try to ruin my high school experience. In my eyes, I just had to get focus on everything but them. And I began to.
No longer did their comments online or face-to-face bother me. Cyber bullying, verbal and physical bullying can destroy people’s confidence. I was not allowing this to be the case for me. Nor was I letting the word ‘erw’ be threw into my face. It is a cruel thing. Moreover, the people who are bullying you are either jealous or see themselves as superior to you – for what reasons exactly? I will never see myself as lower as anyone. We were all in the same year, of the same school. It would have been a lot nicer if they didn’t attempt to upset me, but these experiences help us become a stronger person, just like me.
You never forget what it’s like no matter how old you are
One thing that I will also mention is that, one of the girls did apologise to me. I am thankful for her apology. I might never forget what they did to me but I now see that she does not follow the ring leader of the group. Since later years of high school, she parted from that group as they were welcomed into the popular crowd. I am glad she did because she never had the evil nature in her. She stayed true to herself and we still keep in contact to this day.
Now, when I look back, seeing them throw things at me walking from class to class and shouting things, was just pathetic. Were they really so happy with their new friendship groups if they thrived so much from lowering other people’s self-esteem? They would walk right past me in the street today if I passed by. So, their actions did not really serve a purpose did they? I have been influenced to be a mentor to young children using my own educational and negative experiences. Whereas, they probably associate themselves with the same group of friends living the same materialistic lifestyle.
I would rather have a small amount of friends who are true to me, rather than fake ones who are trying to be somebody who they are not.