Talking About People’s Judgements and Assumptions

Sometimes judgements and assumptions can get in the way of our journey to happiness. Today, I spoke with my mum and it was shocking to hear about some of the things that a social worker has said to her friend. One scenario which was raised was that, a child who comes home and repeatedly returns to their room each night to watch television is considered to be a ‘Frozen Child’.

Until today, I’ve never heard of such a term. My family is a unit. However, we all understand that sometimes, we just need our own space. Although, this woman believes (and apparently, according to research) that a child/individual who has this routine is not only considered as a ‘Frozen Child’ but a person whose parents should be worried about.

These concerns being that, there is either some negative involvement with his/her father or that the individual themselves have issues. I cannot believe that such rubbish exists in the world we live in today. Okay, maybe, there are such experiences of children where they’ve not lived the normal mentality of their age. Or perhaps they’ve experienced neglect from their parents. But to have this as an overall statement is well and truly wrong.

Sitting together at the table

Amongst numerous other concerns from the woman, another one has frustrated me. This being that, “children who grow up not sitting at the table to eat prepared meals are more likely to be less educated”. Really?

As well as the point mentioned above, I’ve grew up in a council house in Salford. I go to my room regularly to have my own time. My family hasn’t been one where all members sit down together at the table to eat every night. Perhaps, it’s only in the perspective of the working-class. But I for sure don’t mind eating my tea/dinner/lunch whilst watching television in the living room, bedroom etc.

According to this woman’s believes and attitudes, I’m certainly against her rituals. However, this doesn’t matter because I’m someone who can prove to her that these actions aren’t always true. I have furthered my education without the influence of my family. I did it all on my own two feet and achieved the same grades as others from other social classes.

How does this make me less educated?

The woman suggested that I would have achieved a 2:1 or even a first if I did ate around a table with my parents and did not sit in my room alone on occasions. This is a woman who has never met me or knows nothing about me apart from the fact I belong to a working-class family and achieved a 2:2 at university.

What I am trying to get across is that, I put all of my ability and effort into university and it is just unfortunate that tutors were not able to see what I have done after university.


Having gathered all of the points raised, it is clear that these accusations are based against the working-class life and predominantly on the upper class who have different routines. People need to realise that no one has the ‘perfect’ family.

Every family has disagreements and different preferences, we would not be human otherwise. My mum has pride in her family and this is all she was explaining, however, the woman did not think (with regards to me) that her children have achieved the best they could. At the end of the day, I have a degree and work experience within the media field.

I could reach out as far as I want to. Every one lives their lives with their own rituals, it is not right that somebody should be judged for achieving something that they are of, whilst somebody else believes you should only have pride with a higher grade. Or, a more family orientated life being defining as one, which eats at the dining table each night.

What are your thoughts?

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