hearts on pegs line

My Love for You will Never End

When I refer to you in this post, I’m referring to Danny. 

I’ve asked the question before, “What would I do without you?” There are many things happening at the moment which send me back to asking the same question. Our lives are about to change in a big way and my body is going through changes that I haven’t experienced before. However, one thing remains, Danny is there throughout it all.

You’re always there for me no matter what

I’m a happy person but some days just like many people, I start to feel down. Sometimes I can’t even explain why. I suppose it’s normal but Danny doesn’t consider it an option. He thinks I always deserve to be happy. So, he does everything in his power to make that happen. Whether it be a hug, a smile, lying down with me holding me close, running me a bath etc. The list goes on and I am so grateful for all the gestures he gives and the time he devotes to me. No matter how his day has been, he makes us his priority.

We move forward together 

Danny and I believe in sharing, opening up to one another, and experiencing life together, that includes the good and the hard times. We fight for what we believe is for us, we save together, we do things our way, and most of all, we aspire for bigger things but believe in order to reach those goals, it’s important to work hard and be committed. And as for our relationship, being committed to each other will always be the case. I support Danny and he supports me. Without it, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

You help to make our dreams come true

A stronger love each day, the best memory lane to wander back to, a house of our own to make our home, our son or daughter to enter the world and I’m your wife to be. We always look for the best in situations. Many times we have said, “This is the best”. When the actual truth is, it’s amazing for that time and place but it only gets better. I’m always amazed by you. The patient, loving, and understanding nature you have is a kind that could never be traded. Thank you for being you and for helping to build the life we have always wanted. As for the dream trip to New York together, we will get there on our honeymoon eh?

So, what would I do without you?

That’s a question I can’t answer fully because imagining life without you isn’t something I can picture. You are there in everything I do. Behind every smile and all the little things I do, it’s you. You join in with my silly random ways, or just sit and smile and call me your weirdo. There is nothing I want more in this world than to have you and to build a family of our own.

Danny always says his world would crumble without me. The fact we feel so strongly about that shows me that nothing we have should be taken for granted. Let’s keep building our lives together. 

heart shaped hands on baby bump

My First Trimester of Pregnancy Versus the Second Trimester

Today marks 17 weeks of Baby Guy’s journey. Since the day we found out the news, our hearts have grown even stronger in love. And as the weeks go by, we are 1 week closer to meeting our little bundle of joy. Now that I am a few weeks into my second trimester, I thought it would be a good opportunity to reflect on my physical and emotional feelings throughout the first trimester in comparison to the second trimester.

A baby is growing inside of me, so I always expected tired days. However, my level of tiredness in the first trimester was on another level I hadn’t experienced before. I didn’t even have to do anything that day and I would feel drained. I wanted to go to sleep by 7.00pm or earlier most nights and that was a struggle because sometimes it meant I was neglecting the thought of eating my tea. That’s one of the many good things about Danny always looking after me though, he made sure I ate, and that’s before pregnancy. I enjoy doing things around the house such as cleaning and tidying and when I didn’t have the energy to do those, it got me down. I’m not even saying that sarcastically as a lot of people know I love to keep a house maintained. It was more than it’s part of what I genuinely love to do and it’s like a therapy for me, just like writing these blog posts.

Food was another challenge. I am the type of girl who will eat anything (well most things), I don’t see myself as a picky eater nor does Danny or my family. When that began to change during the first trimester, I didn’t know how I was going to cope. Banana milkshake? Nope, constantly thrown it right up but I could still eat bananas. I could eat sit there some nights and eat a plate of mashed potato. Sweet treats didn’t appeal to me too much even around Christmas which felt so strange. Danny did everything he could to find foods I could eat and find appetising. Some days this meant putting random combination of foods together to make sure I ate. I still made sure I was ate fruit, vegetables and all things with those important vitamins needed to keep me and the baby healthy.

Then the second trimester began

As the second trimester crept in, my love for food returned, along with a boost in energy levels. I am back whizzing around the house with the hoover and back into my cleaning routine. And I am still enjoying my walks along the river and in the park. Around week 12-13, I finally got round to thinking, “Maybe… I could try some spaghetti bolognese!” as the thought of eating beef mince meat beforehand made me feel sick. Everything about it, the look, texture and just the thought in general. It’s safe to say, I tried it and it went down nicely. Eating is much easier when the sickness goes. I’ve managed to demolish a lovely roast dinner or two. I also want chocolate now and that includes chocolate cereals, chocolate spread on pancakes, and chocolate milkshakes. I worried when I had a dentist appointment that the dentist would shout at me but he said everything looks good so now I can continue to enjoy these chocolate goodies, right?

It’s funny how your mind turns on you during pregnancy. Talking of emotions, even though deep down I am happy, more than happy actually that I’m carrying our first child, I’ve had a couple short periods of time when I’ve wanted to cry as I became anxious about handling all of the new things I’ll be taking on. Other days, I just feel, how do I put it? Bothered? Maybe that’s not the right word but I feel annoyed by little things and just don’t have it in me to say or do certain things. It’s like I want to isolate myself away. Then Danny, just as he always does, wants to make everything better. He might not always see it but I know how much he cares, he always has my back and comforts me the best he can.

When will we see baby again?

Now, although things have improved physically and mentally on the whole. I am becoming quite impatient to find out the gender of the baby and to see them again to check everything’s okay. We are slowly creeping towards the ‘3 weeks to go’ marks. 

Here’s to seeing you again Baby Guy, you keep mummy and daddy’s hearts filled with more love and happiness every day.

If you are 17 weeks pregnant, visit the NHS website for information and advice: https://www.nhs.uk/start4life/pregnancy/week-by-week/2nd-trimester/week-17/#anchor-tabs

My First Pregnancy

This is my first pregnancy. I have a little human growing inside me and I’m thinking of how blessed we are. Our own baby, our child, our perfect everything. This is one special stage in our lives that we have always dreamed of.

Those feelings for the first time

I have been amazed by every moment so far, even those strong hormones taking over and changing my body in more ways than I could ever have imagined. The sickness part, obviously wasn’t fun but it reminded me that our beautiful baby boy or girl are inside and those hormones are well and truly doing their thing.

Thinking about my mum

All my life I have looked at mum and wondered how she stays so strong? A woman who has lost children but also brought 3 (me and my two big brothers) into the world. She wants nothing but love and happiness for us. To say she has been through challenging times doesn’t even cut it but through it all, she has been a mum, and has always been there.

My mum reminds me how precious the relationship is between a mother and her children, especially as I have gotten older. She makes me think of the love she had for granny (her mum).

My mum’s morning messages are everything. When we can’t see each other at the moment, those rows of emojis she adds to her texts make me smile. She knows how to send voice notes now too so we always have a little laugh, if not with those, over the phone to catch up.

Thoughts and feelings around my pregnancy 

Questions run through my mind, how will I do this or that? But the truth is, no one ever truly knows what they are doing. I believe it all comes to you naturally and we all have our own ways. No doubt I’ll need to have more patience than ever and I might be a little sleep deprived from time to time. That’s something you hear when you announce your pregnant from quite a few people. Does that really matter though? We are bringing a new life into the world. A gentle, miraculous, little one. Now, THAT, is worth everything.

I love seeing my belly grow and I felt little flutters quite early on. The stretches are incredible, although sometimes I’m looking for ways to soothe the aches. As long as our baby continues to grow and stays healthy, that’s all that matters.

One thing I have learnt is to embrace being pregnant, especially after that first trimester when your emotions and the “Am I feeling okay today?” question travels through your mind. It really is an up and down rollercoaster. But now, I want to shine and take away any worry. I want to smile every day and keep looking after our baby, keeping them warm and snug.

I’m so glad I have you

Throughout all of the new things I’m experiencing, there’s no one other than my Danny that I would want by my side. The most understanding (even when I’m speaking in true Tasha language) man there is. His level of care and love he has is endless. And he wants nothing but the best for me and our baby. Truth is, we already got it because we have him.

If you have any comments you would like to share as a first time mum, please add them below. You’ve got this!

teddy bear holding a paper red heart

Our Little Dream Come True…

For many years, Danny and I have dreamed of having children one day. We haven’t been shy when talking about the subject, nor have we had conflicted options about how many and when. Throughout our relationship, we have talked about real feelings – including personal experiences, both happy and sad. We have grown to understand each other’s deepest insecurities, worries, upset, and we also visioned the things we see for our life together.

Our relationship isn’t a love story you see on TV or in the films, it’s ours, and that’s what makes us who we are. Our closeness is something that others can talk about but no-one knows how it feels other than us. Danny is the person who can light up any of my days no matter how bad it might have been. He is the one who holds me and reminds that it’s going to be okay. He is the one who on many occasions, I have looked out to the garden and imagined us with our child smiling and playing.

How do I put it all into words?

I don’t quite know how to describe it but I’ll try to explain it the best I can. The more I knew we wanted a child I began to take pregnancy tests whenever my periods were a little late. Now, this might sound daft as I have always been on contraception but I felt sad whenever the test revealed ‘not pregnant’. Due to some health issues and side effects, we decided the next move was to get the copper coil removed. This was a huge step in our lives to take and we knew it was our time to try.

Before I knew it, my period hadn’t arrived but we thought it could be another, “We will take a test and my period will arrive shortly afterwards! That particular weekend, I felt a little unwell. It was as if a migraine was attacking me in a way I hadn’t experienced for a couple of years. I didn’t think much of it and got some rest once I got home. Then there were other little things happening with my body which felt different. Being the eager person I am, I bought two pregnancy tests.

I can’t tell you how many tests I have done over the years. Both for ‘just checking’ reasons to ‘I wonder if we are pregnant’. On this day, I was staying calm and waited patiently. After a couple of minutes, something happened that I had never ever seen before. I looked towards the test and I seen 2 little pink lines. Am I… pregnant? I was in disbelief but couldn’t stop smiling. I had to tell myself to keep the hope aside and take another test for reassurance. And a few moments later, 2 pink lines again. I was amazed and couldn’t stop staring at both tests. My eyes began to water and I felt the warm, fuzzy feeling rushing through my body.

Positive pregnant results on tests

If this wasn’t enough to give us an answer. I took 2 further tests, you might think I am crazy but I just had to believe it 100%. Is our little dream coming true?

I took a deep breath and kept that glimmer of hope and I did another test, this time a Clearblue one. It didn’t take too long before the test digitally shown the word ‘pregnant’. Danny’s reaction was all part of the heartfelt moment too and he was the impatient one waiting for me to do another test. He immediately responded, “Seriously?!” with so much love and happiness in his voice, later to say, “I want to tell the world!”

We found out the amazing news in the very early weeks. This was one of the most special and standstill moments of our lives. Danny couldn’t stop smiling whenever he looked at me. I still keep looking at a little keepsake box we bought that have the tests inside.

Taking all of this in has been as still is, one of the most miraculous moments of our lives. No doubt, the rest of the journey will continue to feel this way. I think for me, the fact we are finally here had me feeling so emotional. Over the last 2 years, we have been through a lot, I have some health issues which Danny has supported me through. It turns out taking out all of the medications, having many appointments, and a procedure or two, and letting my body be its natural self, has given us one of life’s greatest gifts, a son or daughter who is growing inside me.

It didn’t take long for many symptoms to kick in which I won’t go into detail about but it’ll all be worth it for a our little bundle of joy who will enter the world in summer this year. I couldn’t ask for a more devoted and supportive partner by my side. My financé! I am going to have get used to saying that.

Everything is going well and baby is healthy. I have the best doctor and midwife looking after me. Everyone we have told has been so happy for us, even if most of our closest friends and relatives did cry.

The day of our baby’s first scan

Due to Covid, Danny wasn’t allowed to come to my NHS scan and this was really hard hitting, especially as it’s my first pregnancy. However, nothing was stopping us from experiencing the moment of seeing our baby together for the first time. We did some research and came across a place called private clinic called Window to the Womb in Salford. As soon as we read the reviews and I spoke to someone who had a friend that had been, our minds were made up. We emailed to be sure that I could bring Danny along. Once they confirmed I could, we went online and booked our appointment.

The day finally arrived. The scan appointment was later on in the day so we were counting down the hours. We kept ourselves busy throughout the day and before we knew it, the time had arrived. Once we got there and read some information, filled out some details etc. we were ready to go into the scan room. The sonographer was so lovely and made me feel relaxed. Everything went quiet, then a few seconds later, there was our baby on the big screen. The tears came strolling down my eyes, Danny squeezed my hand and we smiled together. This was one of the most surreal and magical moments. Ever since we got the video and photos, we can’t stop saying, that’s OUR baby.

For all of the years we have talked about and pictured starting a little family, it’s so special to see it all happening. Just a week later, a real little bump has appeared. The changes a woman experiences with her body is truly incredible. I am cherishing every moment and cannot wait to experience the rest of my pregnancy journey. Here’s to our little summer baby. We love you with all of our hearts.